Becoming Belle
by Onlyindreams145
Summary: Before the madness of the chase…before the boiling blood and smoking brow….there was her and a pursuit far beyond his wildest dreams Captain AhabxOC (TAKES PLACE BEFORE MOBY DICK) -FIRST FANFIC PLEASE REVIEW
1. Prologue

**_hey this is my first fanfic! i'm not the best at spelling or grammer but please enjoy and review_**

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**_Prologue _**

They were born under the roof of luxury, not 15 miles outside of New Bedford. The two story manor was small mind you compared to some others, six bedrooms in all. Most of which housed the servants, but there was no doubt that it was a home filled with love, especially on the night of December 23rd when their infant cries pierced the Christmassy air.

Charlotte Wilder, a deaf girl who had come from Ireland and was the chamber maid of Lady Griffin could not tend to her ladyship because she herself was also giving birth to a child she had conceived out of wedlock. Because the child was sprung from a sin they named her Jezebel.

A few rooms away Lady Griffin was left to the care of her husband and the family cooks Mrs. Stone. This child was to be named Katrina.

Thus, because of Charlotte's deafness the two babes would sleep in the same cradle, so that Lady Griffin could tend to Jezebel as well as her own child. The two girls, though so very different would remain inseparable.

Even as the years past the girls shared a sisterly bond that none could break; yet Charlotte constantly reminded her daughter of her place.

Jezebel who was later nicknamed Jeze had an eagerness to learn from an early age; following Katrina to school until she was old enough to take her mother's place as housekeeper.

Jeze sat in the stable reading silently as she delicately let her hand run up and down a sleeping pup beside her. A sigh came from her full parted lips as a strand of gold hair hung upon her face. Her mother stood in the door way looking upon her daughter.

Her daughter was a beauty in every way imaginable; her mere presents conjured up the image of a warm country home in autumn. She was not delicate looking but stunningly soft all the same. Her face, and summer-sky-blue eyes that sparkled like polished diamonds against black velvet that bespoke an innocence that was both loving and open. Her pink lips were full and inviting especially when she chanced to smile. She herself was sisterly, daughterly and motherly all at once. Even in her sternest moments she seemed to radiate warmth and gentility. She was good, good and pure of heart and mind, a shy, sweet, bookish girl who was known as a "socially awkward" ragdoll. Thin but undoubtedly shapely (though it was slightly hidden by her brown rags)with sunny blonde waves cascading like a waterfall halfway down her back. Her cheek bones were high under milky, white skin.

Charlotte then shook her head and with a clap of her hand her daughter stood tying on her apron and set off to her work.

After milking the cows, feeding the chickens and being upon hand and knee scrubbing the stone floor until her fingers were numb and a bright red, Jeze retired into the house where she was face to face with a young man who had been her childhood friend, almost as long as Katrina. Wesley Summit was stepson to the famous Archibald Summit who was known for his glorious wine vineyard; which of Lord Griffin invested in first hand. The Summit lived just up the road and visited often enough for the girls and Wesley to become playfellows at the age if six and remain friends since.

Wesley's hair was a coal black with a well-trimmed mustache above his lips, his features were dominantly intriguing, and his hazel eyes had an unmistakable come hither gleam.

"Hello sir!" She greeted warmly. "How many times must I tell you?" he chuckled. "I am Wesley to you." "I'm sorry…Wesley." She humbly replied. "I was not expecting you for another week." The man smiled straitening the lapels on his cream colored coat and responded. "I needed to see if the barn is still holding up." Jeze gave him a docile confirming grin, the light from the sun blazing outside the window gave her almost a glow... "I just come from there it still stands as sturdy as the day you built it last summer." She replied. "I must go now and help Katrina ready herself. I will tell her you are here." Wesley shook his head. "That will not be necessary Jeze, but thank you." With an exchanged of smiles and friendly farewells Jeze disappeared up the stairwell.

Wesley retrieved his hat and cane and proceeded to the grand double doors. "But sir." The doorman quizzed. "Don't you wish to see the man or lady or even the daughter of the house?" Wesley just smiled knowingly to himself. "The intent of my visit has been fulfilled." He said content as well as pleased with the event prior. He looked back before exiting at the spot where the young maid once stood. "She is quite lovely, isn't she?" he remarked to himself

"Will I see you soon dearest Katrina?" Asked her most recent lover, while climbing out her window. "Yes, yes!" she hurriedly replied buttoning her blouse. Katrina was also a beauty, with the finest lipsticks and blushes upon her face. She wore the finest of dresses. Katrina rushed to her vanity and pulled out a flask of port and held it inches from her lips.

While Jeze had the look of a lovely candle ever burning in the still darkness, Katrina's beauty was that of a vibrant red rose in full bloom. Katrina knew she was beguiling and was proud of it, not to the point of arrogance but proud. Her full painted lips always held a saucy, impish smirk that ended in dimples. Her emerald, almond-shaped eyes were ever smoldering behind thick lashes. Her brunette (almost raven) locks were piled high upon her head with ringlets framing her olive skinned face. To her every curve her fine gowns clung. She was busty, outspoken and had a nature that was untamable, she was every sailors wildest fantasy come true, a European goddess among men.

There was a knock upon the door. "It is only me Katrina." Jeze called gently as she entered. Katrina sighed in relief as she watched her friend place a tray of food on a table beside her bed. "Good morning!" Jeze smiled. "Great night!" Katrina laughed. "Speaking of which, where were you?" Katrina asked as she sat at the table eyeing the food. "Reading!" she replied. "How many times must I tell you?" Katrina nagged. "You cannot make love to a book." At this Jeze heaved a sigh. "Who says that I wish to make love?" Jeze inquired as she made the bed. "I do!" Katrina sheepishly grinned, waiting for Jeze to finish. "I am to get you ready for church." Jeze stated anticipating Katrina's answers. "Tell mother that I am ill." Katrina smiled before taking another swig of port. "You have said that so much, your mother knows that you are not truly ill." Jeze remarked. "I know! Why don't you come with me today, we are going to the lake." Katrina offered playing with her hair. "I enjoy church, I am grateful that your mother lets me accompany her from time to time, it is the only time that I am looked upon as more than a maid." Jeze laced up Katrina's corset. "Yes I am sure mother is grateful to have you pose as her proper Christian daughter to the people who do not know her!"


	2. Chapter 1 The Choker

**_Chapter 1 The Choker_**

Jeze pov.

With a heavy knock lady Griffin then entered her scarlet skirt swooping behind her, crossing one leg behind the other I then curtsied. "Milady." I greeted.

"Good morning Jeze." She smiled before staring at Katrina while pressing her hands on her hips. "Katrina Elizabeth Griffin why are you not dressed for church?" "And do not tell me it is because you have taken ill."

I gave a small giggle as Katrina searched her brain for an answer. "No matter!" Lady Griffin then waved her hand. "Your uncle Ahab is coming to visit next week and if you wish to see him you WILL dress and you WILL go to church!" she scoffed before leaving.

"You have an uncle named Ahab?" I questioned while putting up her auburn hair in a white laced bonnet, she shrugged. "He is not truly my uncle, he use to sail with my father or something." She then gave me a devious grin. "He's a Quaker and speaks very poetically, and I know how you love poetry."

I laughed. "I also love it when you don't mock my interest." I teased. She tilted her head so our noses were almost touching. "If I do not mock them little miss never been kissed, never been touched, never even looked at a man then who will?"

"Oh." I sighed while picking out a simple velvet choker to adorn her olive skinned neck, looking at her ruby painted lips turned up in a smile within the mirror. "I'm sure someone will."

With an exchange of giggles, Katrina readied herself. When she was done she marveled at the satiny gown. "The choker is too much." She mused taking it off and placing round my neck affectionately.

We then retreated downstairs, I looked around at my surroundings gratefully, it was a modest manor of six bedrooms all upstairs. The downstairs had a grand entry and to the left behind two glass doors was a very large and lavish living room with chandeliers and marble floors. To the right of the entry was a grand dining room for sixteen. Lord Griffin used the library as his private study and the parlor looked out the back of the house onto the garden. Most of mine and mothers time was spent in either the butler's pantry or in the kitchen we would dine most times in the breakfast nook. The house was grand and took a lot to keep, but we were made to feel at home.

We were met by Lady and Lord Griffin. Lord Griffin was leaning against the railing of the staircase, smoking his pipe contently when he spotted Katrina and I. "Ah girls!" he welcomed. "Lovely as always!" he stated kissing Katrina on both cheeks before pushing both ladies, Lady Griffin and Katrina out the door and to the awaiting buggy.

Lord Griffin turned to me at the door. "Well best be running off now, do not forget to go to the tailors. Farewell Jeze" He left and I ran to the door waving as they rode away.

"Goodbye!" I called.


	3. Chapter 2 Unexpected house guest

**_Chapter 2 Unexpected house guest_**

I had been out to the tailors all day being measured for some of Katrina's gowns (since she was out with her mother and father all day and we were nearly the same size) it was near dusk when I at last came home. The sky was a darkening, metallic gold. Much like a flickering candle. It seemed more autumn than spring.

I retrieved the spare key from under the mat and thrust it into the keyhole and stepped into the lone house. Putting my basket full of mended dresses down, I removed my shawl and hung it upon the coat hanger then gathering up my basket again to leave it outside Katrina's door.

It was well dark out now; having a quick supper of biscuits and jam, I had made my way to the stairs so that I might retire to bed. Fingers suddenly brushed against my arm and I turned sharply. "Mrs. Stone?" I whispered through the still darkness descending the few steps I had climbed so that I might be eye level with her, and there she stood before me, all grandmotherly in her cap and gown, holding a candle in one hand.

"Your bedroom is taken." She said. "You are sleeping with me tonight. We have a guest and milady doesn't want you and Katrina up chattering all night." I nodded. It was not unusual for me to switch rooms or bunk in another bed when we had company stay the night.

"Now!" Mrs. Stone continued. "You will need to fetch your night gown; I will not have you sleeping in my bed with your day-clothes on! It should be no trouble, the man god rest him, is sick as a dog and has been resting most of the day. Didn't catch his name but he seems like a heavy sleeper! Now go on and hop to it! I'm tired and I am sure you are too!"

I obeyed and crept into my room… or what was my room. It was pitch black; there was no trace of the moon or stars outside of the small window. My hands found the lamp above my writing desk. I removed the glass chimney and set it down soundlessly on my desk before screwing the lamp to a dim enough glow so that I might see. I turned my head ever so slightly towards the bed and jumped to see a pair of eyes peering back at me, watching me. I curtsied quickly as a mild fear washed over me. "Did-did I wake you?" I stammered, the man raised an eyebrow at me and lifted his chin. "…Nay." He said at last. I stood there in awe, in the dim candle light his appearance was almost startling, I had never seen him before. His brown eyes seemed to not look at me but bore into my very soul. I cast my eyes downwards and then met his gaze again. "I will,…just,…get my things. I did not mean to bother you." With haste I grabbed my things and retreated to the door, I turned and found him still watching me. "Good-goodnight sir. I hope you feel better." I then left.


	4. Chapter 3 glances and gazing

**_Chapter 3 glances and gazing._**

The next morning I found lady Griffin and Katrina breakfasting cheerily. "Good morning dear!" milady greeted while buttering her toast. Katrina had a laughing smirk on her lips. "And how is Mrs. Stones snoring disorder?" she mocked. I chose not to respond and fetched the two ladies more tea.

Lady Griffin then left for a brief moment. "You had to sleep with Mrs. Stone!" Katrina sang in a childish singsong while stirring her tea. I glared at her and said teasingly. "It wasn't so bad, it was like sleeping with you only quieter!" Katrina then pouted and stuck her pink tongue out at me resulting in a giggle from me.

Lady Griffin then reentered and we resumed our adult composure. Lady Griffin sighed at length and sat back down shaking her head. "Poor man." She started. "Coughing up a storm all day yesterday! That little old man needs a wife he does, a good sweet lady would soften him up I bet! One of my friends perhaps!" she then clicked her tongue. "Poor, poor man."

Katrina rolled her eyes. "Yes mother, I agree with you. If you chance to set him up with one of your friends he will be a poor, poor man!"

Lady Griffin frowned and slapped Katrina on the hand. "Katrina Elizabeth Griffin you are the limit!" she scowled.

"He needs a young wife that can make him,…tick!"

Milady and Katrina continued their conversation and I continued to wonder about the mysterious man in my bed, as Lord Griffin entered. "Morning all!" he greeted before turning to me. "Ah Jeze!" "I heard you met our Captain Ahab last night." This statement befuddled me and I started to ask "But sir, I thought that he was not due for-"

"Another week!" Lord Griffin finished. "He wasn't! He was passing through town and as luck would have it we ran into him."

Then tucking his thumbs in his vest pockets. "No man wishes to be sick alone Jezebel, so naturally I thought he should come here."

"Alone?" I thought. "Did he have no family at all?"

he began to walk away. "Sir?" I called. "What is Captain Ahab like?"

A serious look then crossed his face. He scratched his cinnamon-colored beard and motioned for me to come closer. "He is not a man to be tangled with! Men part like the Red Sea when he enters a room. Even brave men do not dare look him head on. He does not suffer fools Jeze, and you would do best to remember that. The man is branded by darkness; nicknamed old thunder or cannibal but never within his presents."

A look of pure terror must have crossed my face because lord Griffin let out a hearty chuckle.

"Fear not girl! I doubt he will pay you, a mere servant girl any never mind! Besides it is said that those under his command would rather be kicked by him then knighted by the queen of England."

He then glanced at the clock. "Well best be running along, Tah-Tah then Jeze." He left and I resumed listening to lady Griffin's and Katrina's conversation,

"What he needs is clean clothes and a good bowl of soup!" Mrs. Stone chimed in popping her head around the corner pointing her wooden spoon at no one in particular.

"Oh Mrs. Stone I do believe you're on to something!" chortled Lady Griffin. "Jeze dear run up stairs and retrieve the captains garments! Then come right back down to bring him his soup!"

My eyes widen. "Me?"

The room went silent; it was a rarity for me to question an order. "Yes, you!" Lady Griffin said in half surprise.

I gave a curtsy and obeyed walking up the stairs yet lingering outside the door. "Should I knock first?" I wondered

Cannibal, cannibal, cannibal rang eerily in my mind and I inwardly shivered. With a gentle wrap upon the door I entered to find the captain still asleep. Quickly I grabbed his things and went back down stairs to be met by Lady Griffin and Mrs. Stone. Upon handing the clothes to milady she frowned. "Where are his undergarments?" she asked.

An unknown heat incased my cheeks and I dropped my eyes. "He was,…in them and,…still asleep." I stated quietly. Mrs. Stone then plopped a pile of sheets and a fresh pillow in my arms. "Well, wake him up for a brief moment and change his sheets!" she demanded.

"What if that angers him?" I questioned. "Then let it anger him! Men are a bit fussy when they get sick, it's a known fact even in Ireland. Didn't your mum ever tell you that?!"

Like my mother Mrs. Stone too came from Ireland, though mother was from Limerick and Mrs. Stone was from Dublin. Mrs. Stone came too New Bedford for a new start after her husband died in a fight in a pub. While my mother moved out here with her family when she was very small so that her father Bryan Wilder could find steady work in the trades as a carpenter or perhaps get in on the new found sailing trade in the New England colonies. I never quite understood the story in full, for the fact I had only heard it in bits and pieces.

"Go on then Jeze!" Mrs. Stone clapped her hands. "Get!"

I minded; hesitantly making my way back up the stairs. "Don't take it personally if he snips at you!" Mrs. Stone called up to me. With a hesitant nod I wrapped softly on the door again and reentered. I placed the sheets upon the wooden chair in the corner and made my way over to the still sleeping captain. As I approached I caught glimpse of the sun streaming in on his strong profile. Despite his greying hair and rugged beard he had the face of a child. With thick dark waves of his hair brushed away from his face I could see his high cheekbone, lightly shut eyelids with dark lashes, pursed full lips and,…a scar? My eyes traced downward from the burst of white in his otherwise raven locks, the scar coursed its way down further then what my eye could see. For some reason I felt the need to caress tenderly that scar with the back of my finger, yet dared not too. Why had I not noticed it before? How could a man be so frightening to me and yet so intriguing and handsome? How could anyone so bluntly render him as old, when (at least to me) he looked so timeless, so ageless,… so eternal. He was perhaps the most attractive nightmare I had ever known,

My eyes then found the book sprawled open upon his chest, his hands resting atop limply. I smiled at this act; because I found it to be an act that I often did. Were we really so different after all? I wondered.

I went to remove the book and slide it out from his hands; yet as soon as my fingertips accidently brushed his hand his eyes flew open, and my thoughts of admiration resolved into a mild fear again. With a gasp I took a step back.

"And what dost thou think thou art doing?" he demanded sitting up. I tried in vein not to meet his gaze. "I,…um I,…uh…"

"Speak up girl!" he stated, yet it was not as harsh as I thought it would be but mildly playful.

"I am meant to change your sheets,…sir." I finally managed, he gave a brief nod before his eyes darted to the chair. "Where art my garments?" he ordered.

"Milady thought they should be washed." I explained. "Aye?"

That heat flooded back to my cheeks again and putting my hands behind my back I stared down at the floor. "I was meant to take your undergarments too sir,…but I thought that would be a little too personal." I looked back up to see him nod in agreement. There was a knock upon the door and I went to answer it.

"Hot soup and some of milord's clothing for the gentleman!" said Mrs. Stone handing the things off to me. I thanked her and took the soup and put it on the desk before returning for the clothes. Captain Ahab sauntered up to me and took the clothes from my arms. His hands lingered on mine and in an intense moment of fear and fascination our eyes locked. "Art thou afraid of me?" he asked in a stern whisper and with all my courage I met his gaze and answered. "No sir,…should I be?"

He lifted his chin and stepped away. "Nay…." He replied before turning away. "If thou wilt leave I shall have my undergarments waiting for thee outside the door momentarily."

With a curtsy I obeyed leaving him to himself.


	5. Chapter 4 simple touches

**_Chapter _4_ simple touches_**

From that moment on I no longer had fear of Captain Ahab but a beguiling curiosity (that I think met the same in him). Often when I would go outside, I would catch him in the upstairs bedroom window watching me.

Our conversations were brief when I would check up on him; left to one or two words at the most. It was a weeks' worth of sickness and some days were better than others. Despite our lack of words I found myself deeply caring for this man; we were not friends yet we were more than acquaintances.

One day when the house was empty; I looked up from my gardening and did not find him at the window (yet could hear him coughing) I grew concerned and half rushed up the stairs to his room.

I him found sitting up propped against the headboard reading yet with one fist near to his mouth as he coughed. He was paler than usual. I sat myself on the side of the bed and looked at him. He ceased coughing and returned my glance. I reached my hand out to test for a fever. He jerked away, an almost frightened-animal expression lit his eyes. "Shh!" I soothed reaching out my hand once more. First I lay my palm to his forehead, then the back of my hand, when I came to his left cheek after a moment of hesitation he relented to the touch and somewhat leaned into my hand. When I finished he stared into my eyes. "What tis the verdict?" he questioned steadily. "Am I to live?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But only if you rest." With that he allowed me to take his book from him. He then settled himself to lie down and I pulled the bed-linens to his chest.

At the door his voice rang out strong yet gentle. "Thank ye…" I turned to find him peering down at his hands, half smiling I replied "your welcome" and took my leave.


	6. Chapter 5 Gone

**_Chapter _5_ Gone_**

The next morning when I made my usual visit to what was now known to me as the Captain's room, I found it empty, with the bed neatly made, my first instinct was instantly to panic slightly.

I found myself going from room to room silently searching for him. When I reached the kitchen I found myself walking in slowly for the eerie feeling that I was not alone in the grey of the morning.

Out of all the rooms in the house the kitchen was always the darkest at mornings and nights, it always scared me as a child, because Mr. Kensworth the unsettling, god-fearing, old stable-hand often told Katrina and I stories that if we were bad in anyway or had impure thoughts and happened into the kitchen before or after a certain hour the devil would pop out from one of the cabinets, snatch us up and drag us down to hell. To this day I still chill and jump at any queer noises arising from the kitchen at certain hours.

A hand caught me round the shoulder and I wheeled around startled. "He's gone." Stated Mrs. Stone leading me out of the kitchen and relocking the door behind us. "Left early this morning."

"I don't understand-" concern unintentionally flourished in my voice. "He wasn't well enough to-"

"He felt he was." Assured Mrs. Stone. "He left you this."

She handed me a coin just as Katrina was entering. "Left me one as well for cooking for him, 50 dollar gold piece. Fine specimen of a man he is!" she added.

I went to tuck the coin in my apron pocket only to catch a true glimpse of it with Mrs. Stone and Katrina peering at it from over my shoulder.

It was a foreign coin. A shinning gold doubloon! Arched along the coin's rounded edge was the words "REPUBLICA DEL ECUADOR: QUITO" in the center were three towering mountains with an object atop each peak. Atop one peak was a burning flame, atop another was a tower and on the last was a crowing rooster. The coin also featured the signs of the zodiac; the sun appearing at Libra. It was beautiful not just for its looks but for its sincere meaning of gratitude.

"is it worth anything?" Katrina questioned.

"A better question is; is it worth anything here?" added Mrs. Stone then paused. "Must have left it by mistake in his haste, I'm willing to trade with you!"

I shook my head and smiled. "Oh no, no thank you!" I did not wish to cheat her out of money by selfishly trading and besides that I was strangely drawn to the little doubloon itself. In a way it reminded me of Captain Ahab, foreign to me, yet fascinating to behold.

When I presented the coin to lord Griffin he informed me that it was a 16 dollar piece and that I was to hold on to it.


	7. Chapter 6 the Eclipse

**_Chapter_6_ the Eclipse_**

I felt an earnest sadness somewhat washed over me the first few days he was gone, yet it soon faded. A week later Lord Griffin assured me that we were due for another guest.

Sunday came around again and again the Griffin's went to church and I was left to the house alone. Before departing Lord Griffin requested me to prepare something special for our upcoming guest.

I curtsied knowing the importance of this task, for lord Griffin never asked anything of me unless it was gravely important to him. "Will fresh blueberry jam due?" I questioned.

He beamed tucking his thumbs in his vest pockets. "Ah yes Jeze dear, that will in fact due!"

He then left and I set off to my work shortly after, going to the berry bushes in the garden. I smiled as I beheld the rows of berries that painted a delectable rainbow; blackberries, blueberries, violet raspberries and on the ground patches of sweet, luscious red strawberries.

The warm sun against my skin brought me cheer as I let the round berries rolled from my fingertips into my little basket.

A sudden uneasy feeling of being watched came over me. I continued on awhile picking, when there was a sudden rustling from another bush perhaps. I turned and began glancing around on my tiptoes but to my eye there was only a towering old oak swaying gently in the breeze. "Strange." I mused still glancing over my shoulder as I returned to the blueberry bush. The uneasy feeling went away after a while and I returned to the house.

The already small kitchen became even smaller with the array of wooden footstools I had near each pantry. I was not a very tall girl 5'1 at best.

The jam was made in little to no time at all it seemed, I had read a few more chapters of my book while it cooked, but now it came time for jarring, putting away and cleaning up. I sashayed around the kitchen in my own little dream world, so lost in thought in fact I did not notice the stranger observing my every move from the doorway.

I retrieved the blueberry jam and stepped upon the stool, a whinny from a brilliant yet unfamiliar midnight black stallion drew my attention away, thus making me squint at the glaring sun outside.

With a sudden CRASH the jar of blueberry jam that I had clumsily placed upon the edge of the pantry was now scattered in a bluish-purple glass filled ooze on the floor. "Oh no!" I cried, climbing down from the foot stool.

Gathering up my skirts and apron I knelt before the mess and picked up a piece of glass before letting it fall again. "Now what am I to do?" clinched my fist before my quivering lips I tried so desperately not to imagine the disappointment of milord and his quest. Silent, unbidden tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Methinks this is the most beautiful tragedy I have ever seen!" My breath caught.

"That must be a very important jar of jam too weep so." I blinked my tears away yet failed to turn my head.

"Oh yes." I replied. "It was your jar of jam. Lord Griffin asked me pacifically to make it before your arrival."

At last I turned my face, before me a silhouette of a man filled the door frame like the moon in eclipse of the sun. I stood to marvel at the phenomenon, but just as it did so he stepped fourth out of the sun's blaze to reveal Captain Ahab. All at once my heart raced at the sight of him upright.

He was god-like, towering over me at over 6 foot'. Through the fine tailoring of his uniform, I could see the magnificence of his stunning body. His shoulders were broad and following downward was his strong muscular chest and flat stomach, I could see the lining and curves of his powerful legs through the cut of his trousers and his resilient arms filled his coat sleeves, the way he carried himself emphasized every inch of his hauntingly masculine physique, and all of a sudden my curiosity about the opposite sex unwillingly heightened.

My cheeks flushed with heat and knots filled the pit of my stomach; never before had I examined or noticed a man in such away and I wondered if it was a sin of sorts to do so. I dropped my eyes in shame and at last curtsied. "H-how do you do sir?" I trembled at last giving a formal greeting before resuming cleaning up the mess. He stepped fourth. "I am better, thanks to thee."

I was finished and he offered his hand thus pulling me to my feet. I smoothed out the wrinkles of my dress and apron before meeting his eyes that resembled the color of a rich, dark chocolate, yet at a brief glance seemed black as night.

"Perhaps we should go retrieve more berries so that thou might start over." I was taken aback by his offer, and cordially accepted.

Crisp, clean air filling our lungs and nostrils, we strode side by side to the field, the vibrant green grass seemed to break under his strong step, Tucking a stray hair behind my ear I smiled and cut into the thick, awkward silence between us. "So… what did you think of Pride and Prejudice?" I asked.

He seemed taken aback by the question.

"The book you were reading last time I…saw you." I blushed in total shyness;

"I enjoyed it." He replied and I smiled. "I think Ms. Austin gets better and better with each book she publishes, she is one of my favorites next to Shakespeare."

I then looked over and found him staring at me and I half stopped feeling uneasy. "I'm…sorry…am I…boring you?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

He shook his head

"How old are thee?" he asked.

"17." I replied with a smile, he looked disappointed and said. "Ye look and act far beyond your years."

We continued onward, soon out of the sun and onto the gravel pathway beneath a canopy of trees. "What is thy name?" he inquired, voice and eyes now holding a bewildering softness.

I paused and I cast my eyes into my basket, shifting my feet uncomfortably. "Jezebel,…Jezebel Wilder."

Again he stared at me and I prayed he did not think I was mocking him.

Captain Ahab lifted his chin and I looked up into his eyes with earnest. "Thou poor, sweet girl,…" he began. "Thou hast a name kindred to wickedness as is mine. Yet, we do not name ourselves,... yet how can I call thee by that accursed name after all the kindness thou hast shown me?" He took in a sighing breath and we resumed walking.

"Thy soul is beautiful. Henceforth, I shall call thee Belle; a word meaning beauty throughout Europe."

Knots again filled my stomach; a wave of heat crashed itself in my cheeks and I quietly replied. "I have read enough sir to know what belle means,…and I thank you."

In a move so gentlemanly and so unexpected he took my hand in his rough one and kissed it ever so lightly with lips soft as rose peddles, leaving me absolutely breathless.

After gathering more blue berries and continuing our conversation on great literature on our way back to the manor, we parted; him leaving me to remaking jam and me leaving him to wait for the Griffins on the porch.

As the day progressed the temperature raised.

As the jam simmered I made my way to the porch with a cool glass of ail in my hand. Through the screen door I could see his dark curls resting on the nape of his sun-kissed neck.

With my free hand I smoothed out my apron and opened the door. He turned to me and I smiled. "For you sir." I announced holding the glass of ail out to him. "Thank you." Upon handing the glass to him our fingertips met.

Pulling my hand away slowly I went to return into the house only to remember something, reaching into my apron pocket I retrieved my coin and turned back to the captain.

"I do not mean to trouble you sir." I started. "I just wanted to thank you for the doubloon."

A sudden wonder lit his dark eyes. "The Spanish gold ounce! Thou hast not spent it?" he asked. "I thought a young girl of your age surely must have…" he trailed off.

Shaking my head I smiled down at the coin that now lied flat in the palm of my hand. "I have never seen anything quite like it before It intrigued me so that I,… could,…not,…part with it…" as I looked back up I saw a bewitching smile on his lips, he had been watching the expression on my face as intently as I watched him when I first saw him lying in my bed,

"Thou art keeping it as a keepsake then?" he questioned softly.

"Yes." I answered, eyes locking on eyes.

I gave a small curtsy and muttered another "thank you" before going to the door. I looked over my shoulder and heard him give the reply of "Thou art welcome,…Belle." And with a blush I returned into the kitchen.


	8. Chapter 7 old Hearties

**_Chapter_7_ old Hearties _**

No more than 20 minutes later I heard multiple footsteps on the porch. "Ahab, old hearty!" Lord Griffin's voice boomed cheerfully; I went into the entre hall to see lord Griffin yank the captain into a jolly man's hug, the captain awkwardly and uncomfortably hugging back.

I put my fist to my lips to stifle my giggle. Lord Griffin then led Ahab inside.

All that night I served the Griffins and Captain Ahab, Katrina eying me every time I would smile. I enjoyed listening to the old sea stories very much. At dinner mother and I sat in the kitchen with the other servants as the Griffins and the Captain sat in the dining room. As I sat at the head of the small kitchen table he sat like a king at the head of the long dark wood table. Candles set all around him giving him a glow, I could not help but watch him so elegantly eat, his manners were almost princely. I felt my body freeze when he looked over and cast a glance in my direction. I dropped my eyes and blushed.

"Thy help here is impeccable." He stated to lord Griffin who nodded with a mouth full of turkey.

"Charlotte Wilder has been with us for as long as Margret and I have been married and her daughter, little Jeze was born on this very ground the same day as our Katrina."

After dinner I stood and readied the parlor and Lord Griffin's pipe. They sat in the sitting room by the glowing hearth and I watched from the other room as I scrubbed the floor.

Listening while drying dishes I could hear Katrina was inquiring about how her uncle Ahab and her father (who was lounging in his armchair) met.

"Well my dear." Lord Griffin began drawing on his pipe. "In my early 20's I had made my first investment in a whaling vessel known as the Pequod. Well there was some dispute on who should captain her on her maiden voyage since the death of the pervious captain,… Skaggs I believe it was." Ahab gave a nod of consent then lord Griffin continued. "I approached the two owners of the ship suggesting that the young chief mate Ahab who had so bravely captained her after the death of Skaggs was perhaps old enough now to captain her again. The owners liked the idea and told me to fetch the young man in the South Seas, and fetch you I did! Didn't I old chum?" Lord griffin then threw his head back in glorious laughter.

"Aye, and how glad was I to be off those cannibal isles!" the captain added.

"In short my dear child, I invested in your Uncle Ahab and after the voyage's success your dear uncle intern invested in my berry fields!'

I felt my lips unwilling turn up in a smile; it surprised me that even as a young man this "cannibal" sea captain seemed to know no boundaries when it came to kindness.

Lord Griffin snorted happily turning to the captain. "Well, with that bargain of ours as you know, I attained my modest wealth and shortly afterward was blessed with Margret and my dear Katrina."

"Don't forget Charlotte and Jeze father, they were a blessing too!" Katrina cheerfully added.

He withdrew his pipe and waved it in consent. "Why don't you play for us dear? A sweet homecoming tune for your uncle."

With a grin Katrina rose and sat at the piano, gracing the ivory keys with her fingertips, the sound left the mental image of soporific icicles dancing upon a cold dark, snowy wet tree. I recognized the song right away, it was a lullaby…the lullaby that we always heard as children. With dishrag still in hand I retreated to the parlor door and rested my head against its frame and listened to the sweet, restful melody with delight.

The lullaby told of a great, tender love overseas that was unlike any other.

When the song neared its crescendo I spotted mysterious captain eying me from the corner of his eye and my eyes dropped quickly. When the song had reached its end Katrina's audience applauded and with a half-smile of congratulations I wordlessly returned to my dish-drying.

Shortly after the captain departed and like Katrina I bid him goodbye with a simple curtsy.


	9. Chapter 8 the market place

**_Chapter_ 8_ the market place_**

The next day I awoke with the warm sun streaming into my small room. With a smile I slipped into my brown tattered dress and tied my hair into my housekeeping scarf that matched my snowy apron.

With an unknown glee I took the steps two at a time with my little basket dangling from the crook of my right elbow. "Morning everyone! Momma." I greeted happily. My mother once again was at her place at the dining room table; she always hated the custom of eating in the kitchen whenever the Griffins had guest. I kissed her upon the cheek and she grinned from ear to ear. Then I bid milady good morning with a curtsy which in response received a nod of approval, Katrina was not yet up. "Good morning my dear!" she uttered warmly as I took her and my mother's delicate tea cups to the counter to fetch them more of their morning lavender tea. "My aren't we chipper today!" milady noted as I smiled and absentmindedly sang under my breath as the warm delicious waterfall of steaming tea flowed from teapot-spout to cup. "Yes milady!" I confirmed with a titter. "I am chipper today! I am going to the library!" one of my greatest joys.

My mother and Lady Griffin exchanged a glance that bespoke that it was "per usual" and "typical" of me to take such childish pleasure in books.

Milady chortled. "So that's why Lafe has Susanne saddled and ready to go into town!"

My eyes widened and I nearly squealed with pure joy as I bolted out the front door, without a second thought, and was met by Lord Griffin and his magnificent blue-eyed palomino Susanne who was the color of smoky cream with a milky mane and tail.

Susanne whinnied and bobbed her giant head in recognition of me and gladness of seeing me. "Jump on lass." Chuckled Lord Griffin holding out a hand to me to hoist me up. Off into town we went.

The town was made of quaint little Dutch-style cottages that served as shops and stores; whose owners were pleasant and knew each customer by his or her name. it was more than welcoming to see boxes of flowers upon each shops windowsill in arrays of colors and scents accompanied by lilac trees lining the sidewalks.

The sun warmed and pacified me in tranquility as my shoes patted their way along the stoned streets, giving a smile and nod to those who past me. Lord Griffin was off on business affairs with the Judge and he would most likely walk home after a glass of sherry at the Judges'. So needless to say I was left alone.

As I walked down the vibrant, mildly busy streets I retrieved some mutton, two pounds of rice and freshly-baked bread and put them in my basket before sneaking a juicy red apple back to Susanne.

I smiled as I approached the towering willow that Susanne was tied under. Through the vibrant leaves the bright sun cast little designs of light upon the objects underneath it. Moving the curtain of leaves aside and Susanne and I locked eyes. "Hello girl." I whispered fondly.

As I came near Susanne, I noticed that two other horses were tied beside her; a Belgian and a black stallion who's rider was on the fair side of him. I could see the boots of the rider from underneath the stallion, but I paid him no never mind, for at that moment it was only me and this beautiful palomino who I had admired for as long as I could remember.

"I brought you something." I cooed taking the apple from my basket and held it out to Susanne who ate it with ease. "Good girl Susanne!" I giggled as her fuzzy lips tickled my palm.

Wiping the sticky horse saliva onto my apron I promptly returned to Susanne who brought her nose tenderly up to my outstretched hand. I stepped closer resting my freehand under her nimble snout as she bobbed her head to stroke fervently against the fingertips of my other hand. I laughed. "That's such a good girl Susanne."

"I thought I recognized that sweet voice!" with a startle I drew back from Susanne to see where this sudden triumphant outburst came from. There with one strong hand leaning up against the trunk of the willow stood the dashing Captain Ahab with a full smile spread across his lips.

"Captain Ahab?" I smiled in pleasant surprise, and then gave a small curtsy as he bowed his head in a simple motion of a nod.

Bashfully I went to the water pump that was set in some nearby weeds and rinsed my hands. I felt somewhat foolish for being seen conversing with a horse, especially by this man in particular. The captain strolled his way over to where the pump was and also dipped his hands under the cool stream. When I was sure he was finished I stopped pumping the water and he held out his hand to me. "Now, I can greet thee properly, fairest maiden." Palm to wet palm he brought my knuckles to his lips in a kiss. Heat engulfed my cheeks once again. How chivalrous he was, just like a brave knight of old.

I composed myself and smiled folding both hands on the handle of my basket. "I,…we thought you may have left for New Bedford yesterday." I stated.

"Nay; this morning, but I have decided to pick up a few things before I leave." He stated as we began to walk back into town side by side.

I grinned and cast a friendly glance up at him. "Well you could not have picked a better place!" I assured. "You won't find friendlier people anywhere, and downtown is so lovely this time of year!" I sighed dreamily at the blooming flowers. Ahab gave a nod. "Ye are fond of spring then?" he asked.

"Yes! It is my favorite season!" I declared softly. "Mine also!" said the captain. And so began our conversation on spring which rolled into a conversation on trolley rides in spring which rolled itself into yet another conversation on the new trolley in New Bedford. We spoke for half an hour outside of Mrs. Podae's candle shop on the topic of spring alone; our indulgent conversations would have continued longer, if I had not realized that I had an appointment to pick up a pair of Katrina's shoes from the shoemakers'. When I told Ahab as much he seemed more than mildly disappointed; which pleased me greatly. Taking my hand again and kissing it he stated. "If we are to part here and now; then somberly I bid thee Adieu, dearest lady." I then curtsied and deciding to quote Shakespeare I said. "Adieu Captain Ahab, parting is such sweet sorrow." At this he chuckled and exclaimed. "Clever girl, thy knowledge of Shakespeare doth impress me." once more I smiled and we at last parted ways, though unwillingly.

After picking up the shoes I had decided to delay my trip to the library and window-shop awhile; my empty stomach growing hungrier and hungrier by the passing second. Finally after an hour or so I decided to go into the library; the wonderful smell of inky books and fresh turning pages filled my nose and I inhaled deeply.

"Jezebella dear!" welcomed old Ms. Poolie the librarian. She was hard of hearing, short of memory and always got everyone's names wrong; but she was as sweet as the gingerbread she constantly smelt of, in fact one might say she herself was made of gingerbread! She had a full stout form of a gingerbread-man with white frosting hair and large gumdrop-like spectacles that always slid down her nose. "Jess dear, good to see you again." She sang in her fluty voice. "I trust you have my books."

Reaching in my basket under an old rag that I used to shield my two books from bread-crumbs I placed the two books on the front desk which resulted in a approving nod from Mrs. Poolie.

The old librarian then began spinning in circles franticly. "Heavens!" she cried. "Where in the devil did I put that stamp!" with a laugh I leaned over the desk and took her right hand that held the stamp gingerly and held it before her face. "Its in your hand Mrs. Poolie." She then grinned before gripping at her white curls in a tizzy. "Glasses!" she whaled. "Where are my glasses?" Gently I adjusted the spectacles to rest on the bridge of her nose before taking the books she had failed to put away from the last time I was in, and then going to the ladder to put them away for her.

"My but this old bat is getting dingy." She said aloud making me giggle from the ladder. She then came to me and started handing me books. "Such a sweet little girl!" she mumbled softly. "Whenever are you going to marry?" that was her standard question for all eligible young ladies who entered the library; except Katrina who was in her opinion to pretty to marry. "No, no! don't tell me, don't tell me!" Mrs. Poolie sniggered. "You're waiting on a Sir Lancelot to sweep you off your feet!"

I blushed and quietly answered. "Not a Lancelot, but a chivalrous man who loves Shakespeare,… and appreciates me,...loves me,… sees me as an equal." I knew what I was saying was ludicrous and would surely be laughed at. It was not the norm for young ladies of my age to seek equality and a modest life filled with romance and love instead of a prince, or a princely fortune filled with empty meaningless passion.

Another book was being handed to me, calling me back from my thoughts. I absentmindedly reached down for it but halted when I found my fingertips did not meet the wrinkled hand of Mrs. Poolie but a strong male hand, I turned my face and we locked eyes. "Methinks this is a very good omen…. To meet twice in one day." The captain said in a hushed tone. Tilting my head slightly too almost rest it upon the ladder, I smiled softly "Yes…yes I think so too." I only then noticed that our hands lingered on the book. In an awkward moment our eyes met, whispering a "thank you" ever so slowly I placed the book back in its resting place.

Captain Ahab then cleared his throat and went to the front desk handing Mrs. Poolie a book. "Done already young man?" she asked and the captain half smiled at her comment. "Thou flatters me Mrs. Poolie, I have not been called a young man in many a year." He and I both chuckled at the same moment, but paused when he looked at me and our eyes met once more. I quickly turned my face away so he would not see the blush coming to my cheeks.

"Oh but you are a young man!" Mrs. Poolie cooed and I wondered if she was perhaps attempting a flirtation. "You are a baby yet!" I laughed inwardly at this; if she was attempting a flirtation with this handsome sea captain she was perhaps worse at it then I. Then again, I had never had the courage or want to truly be flirtatious with any one, in fact aside from the audacious techniques Katrina had taught me (such as batting your eye lashes and swaying your hips as you walked) I knew not how to be saucy or flirtatious.

Drawing my attention back to the task at hand I retrieved a book of John Locke's teachings, Sense and Sensibility and Jane Austin's latest novel Emma; and climbed down the ladder and preceded to the front desk myself.

Captain Ahab then gathered his books from the table and brought them up for Mrs. Poolie to check out for his next voyage. "How long are you staying in town?" asked Mrs. Poolie pleasantly and the answer surprised me. "Three weeks… tis something in the air here that hast drawn me to stay."

Mrs. Poolie all a flutter with pride for her town nodded. "Yes, the air is rather sweet!"

My heart pounded as he glanced at me as he said. "aye." The glance he gave me was steadfast and sudden and I had almost wished his eyes to linger upon mine in a gaze. The captain then shook his head and turned his attention back to the librarian. "Well, I best be off." Then bowing his head. "Mrs. Poolie, Miss Wilder."

I watched him go to the door and dropped my eyes down to the books in my arms and continued about my business feeling disappointed.

"Miss Wilder…" my head shot up. "If I may be so bold, if thou hast not eaten…may I accompany thee to lunch?"

I could not contain my joy. "I would love to!" I grinned.

We went to the door and I paused sadly remembering our ranks in society. "What is it?" the captain asked turning to me in concern. "I do not wish to bring you disgrace." Looking down at my rags I gave a nervous laugh as I said still looking down. "It would not be right for a captain to be seen lunching with a servant girl."

The captain stepped before me and in an almost whisper said. "Thou could never disgrace me, Belle. I see thee not as a mere servant girl but as a lady in waiting." His words took me aback and weakened my knees, to think of him thinking of me in that manner, I looked up again. "Now, my fair lady Guinevere, wilt thou lunch with me?"

With a smile I nodded and had lunch with him, despite feeling as if all the eyes were staring at us. Afterwards we strolled down the street window shopping and laughing. We stopped before a particular shop and ogled at the handkerchief set folded on a wooden pedestal. "Spanish lace." The captain noted. "its very beautiful." I sighed. My eyes fixated on the delicate cloth triangle, little knowing that the captain had his eyes cast elsewhere. "Your very beautiful,…" no sooner had I looked at him; he adverted his gaze. Without a word he strolled into the shop, and within a moment later the clerk removed the handkerchief and replaced it with a small porcelain figurine. I stood on my tiptoe to try and get a view on what was going on.

The bell to the shop chimed and Captain Ahab appeared handkerchief in hand. I touched my fingers to my lips and he approached. "So that ye might remember me and this day." He stated almost timidly holding the filigree handkerchief out to me. I took it with a smile and wondered how I could ever forget him let alone repay the kindness. "Thank you." I curtsied. "But what will you have in remembrance of this day captain?" I asked.

Softly he said. "A day like no other and the memory of your smile, I want for nothing more of this day."

By the time I had gotten home it was late and Katrina informed me that she and the household were about ready to devise a search party; a remark to which I laughed, secretly keeping the handkerchief near to my heart.


	10. Chapter 9 The cow

**_Chapter_ 8_ the cow_**

Two days later I was to fetch our new milking cow from Hicks' farm. I rose early that morning and let my hair flow loose. Not knowing if the air was chilled or not I stepped outside onto the front steps, the air was frigid. I could not feel it at that moment for my excitement was peaked to see Captain Ahab waiting at the corner of the property. Despite the cold and my shoeless feet I ran down the steps, threw open the front gate and rounded the corner to him. "Hello." I said softly. He turned to me and smiled. "Good morning, fairest maiden." He said with a softness that matched mine. "It's wonderful to see you again?" I asked. The captain seemed not drowsy for such an early hour but at ease, tranquil even. "Might I kiss thy hand?" he requested coyly, I had forgotten the custom of his greeting, I gave him my hand and again he said, only this time with a more assured heir. "Good morning." Suddenly taking my other hand he said "I hope you plan on wearing more than this, it is a might brisk this morn.", all the while looking into my eyes.

Catching my breath I looked back to the house. "Lord Griffin is not yet awake." I said. "But if you would like to come inside I could-"

"I actually came for thee…" he stated quietly. "I…remembered from our conversation at lunch, that ye were to retrieve a cow from the Hicks' farm today." He then cleared his throat and looked down at the basket that lied at his feet. "It is my ardent wish that thou would allow me to accompany thee. For I know a spot along the way by a brook, I thought we two might sit there and lunch again."

Biting my lip with my excitement I responded. "Let me get my wrap. I will only be a moment." And with that I went back into the house shutting the door behind me slowly as not to disturb the household. When the door was finally shut I gave a childish bounce of glee before scampering for my shawl, housekeeping scarf, basket and shoes. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear and pinching my cheeks for color, I thought to myself it's not my best but there's no time, I opened the door again and with a smile we set off.

The leaves were a vibrant shade of green as we walked under the canopy-like trees at a small distance from each other on the dirt road. The birds serenaded us as we passed. Leaning over slightly the captain asked. "What is in thy basket?"

I laughed. "it's a form of payment. Mrs. Hicks aside from the regular form of payment ask that our cook Mrs. Stone send her some of her famous yeast rolls. Mrs. Hicks has been trying to get the recipe for years, but Mrs. Stone is not giving it up anytime soon." With a giggle I added. "It's really rather comical."

The captain grinned and nodded. "Aye, I imagine it is."

"Ah, there it is!" "Just, as I remembered it." The captain stated abruptly. There before us was a winding, rolling, clear brook, nestled a few feet from an ancient chestnut tree that was larger than life. The tall grass bending and dancing with the light breeze that swept through the air. I was taken aback by the splendor of it all. "Mother nature can truly make beautiful things when she wishes to." Ahab mused, before turning to me. "Come, I have already set out a blanket for us earlier this morning."

Ahab went a few paces ahead of me and jumped over the thick tree roots until he reached the flannel blanket. Stepping up to the roots that seemed mountainous to someone of my height I stepped up onto one and tried in vain to mimic the captain but stumbled upon the last root. Captain Ahab acted rapidly and caught me before I could fall face first to the ground. Aside from the sounds of nature; a deadly silence passed between us as our eyes met and we lingered in an awkward embrace. We both straightened and looked away from each other. "Thank you." I whispered. "Thou art welcome."

More silence. "Belle, I…" he finally said, I turned to him eagerly. "Yes?" I asked. "Nothing," Ahab shook his head and knelt down. "I,…I hope thou art hungry…" he stated, preoccupying himself by removing plates from his basket as not to look in my direction, I knelt down also and answered quietly. "I am." At my response Ahab looked up from his task and once again, tenderly our eyes met.

"Tell me." he began. "How much schooling hast thou had? You…you seem very well read."

Sitting on my heels I answered. "Seven years." I continued tucking a strand of hair away from my eyes. "The first five years Katrina went to school, I stayed home with my mother yet when Katrina got home I would stand outside the parlor and listen to Katrina reiterate her lessons to milady. So one day Lord Griffin found Katrina and I behind the barn with one of Katrina's school books trying to sound out the words together and from that moment on I went to school." I smiled at the nostalgic memory and then sighed. "I would have continued, but as I got older so did mother and I thought it would be selfish to allow her to proceed doing heavy tasks that I was strong enough to do, so I left school and took mothers place as housekeeper. I loved school. The teacher Ms. Fowling said I had the potential to one day teach school myself." I then leant forward and stated with a dreamy, fanciful smile. "And oh how I wanted too!….but I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

I then looked to the captain to see if he found me boring, but instead found him to have a grin. "I can see thee as a schoolteacher!" he stated softly.

Ahab then reached into the basket and retrieved two elegant, crystal flutes and a bottle of wine. My eyes widened as the cork made aloud popping sound

"I went all the way to Sconset yesterday to get this." Ahab stated with pride as he poured the drinks. "1797! An excellent year!"

I folded my hands on my lap timidly not really sure what to say. The captain at last cast me a sideways glance and seeing the concern on my face asked with a nervous laugh. "What is it?"

Letting my eyes fall to my lap I replied with my own uneasy laugh. "You seem to have forgotten sir that… that I am only 17."

The captain stopped and looked away from me in embarrassment corking the bottle. "How…. Foolish of me." he whispered going to put the bottle away. I touched his wrist gently to stop him. "Perhaps we could mix it with the water from the brook." I said quietly and a mild pride returned to his eyes. Taking the crystal flute to the cool stream he filled half with water and half with wine. "Drink it slowly, it may yet be strong." He advised. Taking the glass to my lips I took a sip and let the bubbly liquid slide down my throat, stinging slightly. Placing the glass down I put the backs of my fingers to my lips to stifle a cough, the captain smiled at me. "I have never before seen such innocence." He said softly. "Tis like a breath of fresh air." Our eyes locked on each other.

"And what of your education captain?" I asked. Ahab straightened. "My college education also was by happy accident. During my first voyage as a boy harpooneer, my captain saw me help the men read the letters from their wives, count barrels, weighing and counting stocks and supplies. I guess my eagerness to learn everything I could, and worked as hard as I could, impressed the captain. He thought me to be a good candidate for the Naval Academy." Snickering slightly "Little did he know with all the down time between hunts I would get bored, and at that age the days would go on like years." "Was it wonderful…school I mean?" I asked him, not ever hearing him speak so much of himself. He stretched his legs out in front of himself crossing them, sitting and supporting his torso with both hands just behind him. "I spent six years at the academy on two ships. The first three years on a Merchant ship and the last three on a Whaler. A school at sea as it was. I left as a first mate and joined Captain Noah Skaggs crew of the Pequod.

Sixteen months out to sea and Captain Skaggs died of illness. With the hulls less than half full I took command and decided to complete the voyage. Needless to say the company was upset with me for not returning with the Captains body sooner. But they were very happy the Pequod returned in good shape and with full hulls and in record time. Not knowing what to do with me they sent me to the cannibal isles to man their docks. I guess they thought twenty three years of age was not old enough to be a Captain."

Running my hand over the prickly green grass and letting it tingle against my palm I contemplated how deeply impressed and honored I was to be in the presents of such a well-educated man. "And after that?" I urged him to go on. "I set sail to the cannibal isles and stayed there for two years."

"And you were never lonely? Or missed home?" I asked. Ahab shook his head. "I had no home or family to miss, for I was orphaned at twelve months, and as for lonely; I was lonely, but I did not realize just how lonely I was until this most recent homecoming." He sighed. "A man can only rove as a happy bachelor for so long, before he begins to long and ache for warm arms to come home too. Aye Belle, I was and am still a lonely man…. After my two years the Pequod docked in the cannibal isles with orders for me to captain her and from that time on to this day I have been captain over the Pequod. I was the youngest captain to ever sail the high seas." He then reached into his left breast pocket and withdrew from it his pocket watch. "It's time for us to be going." He then stood and pulled me to my feet and we set off again.

We strolled along down the dirt road side by side and I glanced at his handsome profile every now and then. "In the cannibal isles," I said quietly. "Did you never think of taking a bride?" I know it was audacious of me to ask him and I wanted to take it back as soon as I spoke it. "Aye, I thought of it; but never fell in love…. And what is the meaning of love to thee Belle?"

I halted taken aback; I thought a moment and then continued walking. "To me love should be like a fine wine or brandy; it is meant to grow sweeter and fuller with each passing day." Or so I understood. Ahab nodded in approval of my theory, and a moment of silence passed between us.

"And what of ye? Dost thou have any gentlemen callers?" he asked. "No." I replied and he had a pleased smile on his face. "Mm." he mused. `

We drew near a white painted footbridge and fancifully I thought of courtships and marriage. Stopping half way across the bridge I put my basket down I leaned against the railing crossing my wrists one over the other while looking out over the rippling pond. Ahab did the same. I sighed at length. "I think I would like dancing at my wedding." I thought aloud and then turned to the captain with a giggle. "I have never danced before, but often when I was a child I would watch the guest at milady's dinner parties dance,…like this!" then taking the Captain's hand and placing it gingerly above my hip and resting the hand that was not entwined with Ahab's, on his shoulder. The waters reflection mirrored our waltz perfectly. With gliding spins we both laughed until that fatal moment when blue eyes met with enticing brown. There was such a tenderness reflected in his eyes as he pulled me close. My hand found the back of his neck and rested there as his silky, black curls played against my fingers. With parted lips I gravitated towards him. He bent down slightly and I felt my heart begin to race as the space between our lips became less and less. Was this to be my first kiss? Was it too soon? My shawl then fell from my arms to the ground and Ahab drew back. "Methinks the Hicks' farm is only a few minutes more….its… best not to terry." He murmured before picking up my shawl, never before had I felt more like a jackass; did he think me brazen now? Or forward? But then again…did he not gravitate to my lips too? The rest of the way to Hicks' farm was spent in awkward silence until he finally spoke. "I…. hope thou wilt me see thee again, Belle." Smiling I answered. "I would like that very much." And he returned my smile.

We then retrieved the cow named Adela after a brief conversation with the Hicks and dropping off the rolls.

I was lucky that the captain came along, for the cow was reluctant and surely would drag me behind it. For with its strength, with every five steps Ahab would take fourth the cow would drag him three back.

On several occasions the captain fell to the mud and dub the cow with a new curse each time. "Blast ye Adela!" was the first curse that he spat. The next curse came when the rope slipped from his hands and the cow set off at a run back to Hicks' farm, there we were hilariously chasing after this brown, smelly cow yelling for it to come back. "This is not a cow as much as it is a demon!"

And the final curse I will tell of is this; we had stopped to catch our breath near the spot where we had picnicked early that day. Removing his hat and withdrawing a kerchief to dabbed the sweat from his brow he was sent crashing into me from a bump from the cow, he caught me round the waist and I had thought that maybe we might have shared in that kiss we had missed earlier, yet he was so enraged with the cow that as soon as he was certain I was steady he released me from our embrace and with a motion so childish and so laughable he slapped the cow with his hat and then turned to me declaring. "I hate this cow, Belle! I just hate it!" I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter.

I suppose the saying for horses can go for cows as well. You can lead a cow to water but you cannot force it to drink.

Once we got back to Griffin manor and put the cow in the barn the captain and I collapsed exhausted onto a bale of hay and laughed.


	11. Chapter 10 The bachelor

**_Chapter 9 The bachelor_**

It was that following Sunday when milady approached me with a task. "Jeze dear arrange 5 tea settings in the parlor." She requested floating by me and fluffing the pillows on the sofa. And so I did. I presumed that this was one of her normal monthly gatherings with her friends, but what was queer was when I set out the fifth pink china cup she shook her head and ordered for a blue cup instead. It was then I knew that she was playing her old game of matchmaker.

One by one the ladies began to show up until only the lucky or rather unlucky bachelor was being waited on. I tied my hair back and began to prepare the tea.

I then handed the tray to my mother who went to the parlor, I followed her to the door and hiding behind the wall slightly, I saw the bachelor sitting among giggling ladies. It was Ahab. The sunlight streamed in onto his face making his already captivating features even more enchanting.

A pang of jealousy pierced through me as my eyes skimmed over the ladies, who were all very much older than me. as I listened to him tell tales of pirates and danger, I wondered if anyone knew that I was falling deeply and hopelessly in love with him; I loved his eyes, his stern face, the way he spoke, the way his rough hands touched me so gently, the way he said my name, he made me love him without even trying. My mother ceased me by the arm and with a scornful look pulled me away reminding me to keep out of sight. But I could not tare myself away for long.

The second time my mother caught me at my hidden post was at dinner. Beautiful Ms. Consuela Reveres gently touched the captain's hand in an act of flirtation as she laughed at a joke that was not meant to be a joke. My mother ceased my arm again and swung me around giving my behind a tight swat as I passed her. It was her way of reminding me of my station in life.

After dinner I was to clear the table which gave me a clear view of the parlor. They sat in a half circle with Ahab in the middle.

"Oh Captain Ahab you are so brave to go out there and face those big whales." Said Ms. Maxine Kent who was the socialite of the town; she always had the up and up on the latest fashion. She had thick red sausage curls that framed her cream skinned face and turned up nose. Her pink dress brushed against Ahab's boot and she quickly pulled it back, afraid of getting mud on her dress.

"I'll say! Rutty awful things whales are!" added Mrs. Sally Moore; widow of the late Captain Winston Moore who owned dock B and was killed by pirates. Mrs. Sally was all womanly with silver hair but her mannerisms were that of a burly sailor. Often she would greet men by punching them in the arm and laughing heartily, much like her son Jacob who was in the naval academy.

"Oh dear its late, I really must get home soon." Interrupted Mrs. Anya Ramn who Katrina referred to as "nervous nelly". Her pride and joy were her petunia garden and her two children Reuben and Agnes who were 13 and 12 but still in her opinion too young to be alone for more than a few hours. No one truly knows what happened to Mister Ramn other then he was found face down in his dinner plate one night. Katrina would say that Mrs. Anya drove him over the edge with her over anxious tendencies.

And finally directly too Ahab's right was Ms. Consuela Reveres, the Spanish temptress as the sailors called her. She had alluring large green eyes and her coal black straight hair cascaded over her shoulders. She was a full-formed and busty woman. But what was most irresistible to the men who stepped into her pub, was that she was seductive and saucy one moment, and played hard to get the next. She ran her bar the way a captain runs his ship.

I drew my eyes away from the ensuing scene and focused on the task at hand.

"Ugh did you see that little ragamuffin looking at us? Its pathetic!" I stopped in my tracks at Ms. Maxine's words and listened. "Ragamuffin? What ragamuffin?" asked Mrs. Sally. "That one there! Cleaning the table!"

"Her?" squealed Mrs. Ramn. "Why, I thought she was a stable-hand!"

"Ugly little thing isn't she! I'm surprised they allow something that ratty in the house let alone around their daughter, especially with a name like Jezebel!"

At this Mrs. Ramn crossed herself and muttered. "God help us all!"

I tried to hide how deeply their words cut me.

"her mother is deaf, so I imagine that she can't be that bright!" Ms. Reveres laughed. I could not look at Ahab for I felt if I did the tears would rain from my eyes out of embarrassment. I grabbed a book and pinned it to my chest and calmly went out before another word was spoken. When I was out of sight I ran to the barn as quickly as possible. Little knowing that captain Ahab stood up and addressed all of the ladies in my defense. "I see no call to insult lady Griffin's help, especially after she has provided us with such a lovely evening, and as for judging people on biblical names perhaps my name shall be the next discussion. Now if ye will excuse me, ye fine ladies methinks I wilt go have a draw on my pipe."

I opened the book and tried to lose myself in its pages. "Belle." A soft voice said making my head shoot up. "Captain?" I stated with a faint smile. "What are you doing here? Aren't you the guest of honor and meant to be dessert for those ladies?" he then stepped closer and said. "They bore me and angered me with false talk of ye." I looked away and sighed and felt the soft hay beneath me move as he knelt beside me. "So ye did hear them talk." He stated. "and their words hurt ye."

"no." I shook my head. "it's fine. I'm used to it. You should go back. They will be missing you."

"I would rather be with thee." He whispered. "Should not the guest of honor also have dessert too?" I felt my cold hand suddenly incased in warmth and our eyes met. "They do not know the wonder of ye Belle, thou art three times as smart as they and thy beauty… words cannot describe you, my Belle. Do not let anyone tell thee otherwise."

My heart raced with the thoughts in my head. Before I could speak he released my hand and stood. "Captain Ahab?" I called after him. "Aye?" he stated turning to me at the barn door the sunlight shown behind him. I laughed as I said. "At the table…. You looked as if you had stepped on a thorn."

He gave a brief nod. "Aye girl, that is my captains face as well as my boredom face." This made me laugh even more with my fingers to my lips and he gave a lazy smile and left, I soon followed.

After 5 or so more minutes of conversation with the ladies Ahab withdrew his pocket watch and declared that he was leaving and offered a lift to whomever needed one. All but Mrs. Ramn who had her own buggy accepted his offer.

Drawing back the curtain I watched longingly as the buggy drove away, wanting so to be older and perhaps in his arms.


	12. Chapter 11 King of the Pride

**_ Chapter 10 King of the Pride_**

The next day I went into town; I had thought with all the excitement of the day before that Ahab might have forgotten that I had invited him to join me, or that he perhaps would take to calling on one of the other ladies, but no!

When I opened the shudders of my bedroom window to a bright morning, I found him at his spot on the footway, checking his pocket watch; I laughed to myself in delight and leant out the window slightly to call out to him but drew back when I realized I was still in my nightgown.

"Thou art late!" he teased as I ran up the walkway to him. "Your early!" I repented just as impishly. He kissed my hand with a smiling-laugh, not giving his normal greeting of "fairest maiden" but a simple greeting of "Belle" in a tone that bespoke everything.

We again walked alongside each other past the wooden, Dutch-looking shops. We had walked that path together so often that we no longer received awkward second glances from by-passers or if we did neither he nor I had noticed.

"Shall we see Mrs. Poolie today my sweet?" he asked, admiring one of the lilac blossoms, not seeing me flush from his term of endearment. "If you wish." I replied smiling shyly at the ground. He turned to me, before he could answer we heard his name being called from a distance we both turned and my jaw dropped. There standing against the door's frame of the pub was Ms. Consuela Reveres with one hand behind her head and the other fanning herself as if she was in the Sahara. "Come and get it, poppy!" She summoned. Rather the it she was referring to was a pint of grog or her herself I know not; regardless my eyes unknowingly widen and without thinking I began to haste away. "Belle? Belle!" I did not hear him, nor did I slow down but stopped a distance away. "Good heavens girl, didst thou not hear me calling after thee? I am an old man I do not need exercise." Ahab panted catching up to me.

"It seems as if Ms. Consuela fancies you!" I mused quietly yet never meeting his eyes. "…do you like her in return?" I could not stop the question from tumbling from my lips, I at last met his gaze. He straightened and gave me a look of a captain's strictness. "Should I?"

I froze, how could I answer this question without letting on to my own feelings. "If-if you wish." I stammered without meaning to. Ahab lifted his chin and pursed his lips before questioning. "Aye, but what would ye have me do?" the stern look in his eyes nearly brought me to my knees; was he asking for my opinion or my confession? I parted my lips to answer but the words failed me.

"Belle…" he demanded after a moment of silence. I stammered once again. "I suppose…

I mean…

It would not hurt to…

You should…

That is to say…

If you are looking for love-" he halted me in my rambling. "Does thou truly think a man of my age can fall in love?" he asked. At last a question I could answer honestly. His eyes locked intently on mine.

Dropping my eyes downcast and swallowing, then meeting with his eyes again, I confidently yet quietly stated. "I believe sir that if a person has an open heart and mind that anyone can fall in love."

"And receive it in return?" Asked Ahab

My heart stopped. "It depends on the person." I answered. Satisfied with my answer (or out of questions) Ahab nodded slowly and said. "Aye." He peered at me from under the brim of his hat we walked onward. There is no telling why but I felt so distant and detached from him, I felt like one of his shipmates in that moment. On our way he stopped me by also putting his hand on my baskets handle. I looked down at our hands so close to touching when he lifted my chin, his facial expression at long last softened. "Take my arm Belle." He said in a whisper. "I want to be near to thee,… ." So he feels the distance too, I thought. Switching my basket to my other hand I looped my arm in his, my hand resting in the crook of his elbow and oh how affectionately did his hand lay and linger atop mine, the same way he did when he handed that book to me in the library, and oh what sensations and chills did his warm touch conjure within me. "Complete at last." he sighed. I looked to him and smiled.

We had reached the bakery and I reluctantly freed my arm from his. "I will be but a moment." I said before stepping into the busy shop. There was a mixture of sweet and savory, enticing smells, along with perfectly shaped French baguettes and muffins on display. By smell and sight alone one's taste buds could have exploded.

I looked to my left and could still see Captain Ahab through the top part of the Dutch doors, he stood with his hands behind his back, giving polite nods to passersby, and I giggled softly to myself at the scene and continued on gathering the things I needed.

When I cast another sideways glance over at Ahab I noticed that he was conversing with two young lads around my age; his face was set and very cross as he addressed them. I listened as I waited to paid the baker.

"Ye boys are mistaken, that girl inside yonder bakery is not for either of thee; for she seeks a man with a man's soul and not two school lads in a man's shell. Aye, she would but make bumbling fools of thee. Aside from that, she is not my daughter, but she IS mine today make no mistake about that."

My heart pounded within my chest. His! He said. I was his! I collected myself and left the bakery pretending to be oblivious to the conversation. He turned to the two boys tipping his hat. "Shipmates." He then offered his arm to me, holding his head high like a mighty lion that had just defended his territory with great success. I blushed to see the dark smirk on his lips.

"What were you talking about?" I finally mustered up the courage to ask. "Whaling and oil." He stated calmly. "What did you tell them?"

"Simply that, it can get dangerous when ye cross oil with a raging fire. My Belle." I chose not to press the matter any further and smiled to myself knowingly and yet still unsettled.


	13. Chapter 12 war in silence (Jeze)

**_Chapter 11 war in silence_**

3:03 morning

I sigh and roll over to my right side and trace my finger over dark cracks in the wall. I was tired, tired of these restless nights. These nights of not knowing what or who he wanted or thought of. Did he look at me and see a child? A little girl who needs a father figure or uncle. Did he want to kiss me that day we went to Hicks' farm? If he did why did he pull away? And what would have happened after the kiss? I know not and a part of me is afraid of the answer, while another part of me grew excited at the thought. Does the idea of kissing me repulse him? He had said he did not mind my rank as a servant girl, but what if it did bother him? Why did he keep coming back and why did he keep accompanying me on my chores? Was I making myself two available to him? Did he enjoy the teasing of Ms. Reveres? Had he not shooed those boys away? And why did he lie to me about it, with a story about fire and oil?

oWhat was I doing wrong and what was I doing right? Who do I ask? Better yet who COULD I ask? Are all odds truly against me in this silent war I fought with myself? I reached under my pillow and touched my fingers to the filigree handkerchief underneath, and s sort of calm fell over me, not calm enough to sleep but calm enough to slow down my speeding thoughts, if only for a moment.


	14. Chapter 12 war in silence (Ahab)

**please review**

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**Ahab pov**

**3:15 morning the Clamton inn**

I know not if it is the absence of my cabin bed or the city noise that keeps me awake so, awake and thinking of her.

Who is this girl? This young servant girl. This witch that has me so deeply under her spell. She steals my days and haunts my nights.

Her youth, her innocence, her endless kindness, her warmth it draws me so. I have no cause to want this girl and yet I find myself needing her.

She makes me act in ways I would not approve of in any other man with the title of captain. Dismissing high society women of my age as no more than honking geese, to chase after a girl below my rank and more than half my age.

Why, why is it when I am with this young girl, I feel as if I am experiencing the world, the land and life for the first time.

I go to my window and in my minds eye see her before me; like the glimmer of the sunlight on the sea. I touch my fingers to the cool glass, constantly craving her touch, and feeling some sort of redemption of past pains and sorrows when looking into her eyes. Her voice carrying to me like a ripple upon the water, voice a melody to lovely to withstand.

Why can I not find a wrongness in this attraction I feel for this beautiful young lady when I look in the mirror and see a man old enough to be her father or perhaps grandfather.

I would not be the first man to fall in love with a youthful girl in his old age. Aye, but could I implore that sweet girl to face judging eyes of passersby and the harsh whispers, that would be spoken under breaths so fatal and venomous? Dare I ask such a sweetness to take an old man into her heart and bed?

I shake my head and leave my window. I must belay this! I have put off sleep and other tasks with these nonsensical, unnecessary provisions for far too long.

So be it then…Goodnight.


	15. Chapter 13 the cannibal tamed

**Tell me what you think? Am I doing Ahab justice? and a special thank you to a-mild-looking sky for the beautiful review**

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**_Chapter 12 the cannibal tamed_**

Captain Ahab came to breakfast the next morning and almost every morning thereafter for 3 weeks. We became even greater friends he and I with each passing day. We spent every waking moment that no one was around together; doing chores or in town, laughing and chatting.

My happiness with him was overwhelming. The ferocity and moodiness of this "Old Thunder" I did not see, nor did I see the so called "cannibal soul" he was so known for.

With him, in his countenance I saw only a warmth and child-like love of life that was never to be hindered. If there was any wonder, any question in my mind that I cherished this man; it vanished within those idyllic weeks that went on forever yet ended far too soon.

Alas my lovely spring came to a climax earlier than expected.

One day when the sky was a cloudless, impeccable azure Ahab pulled me aside by our favorite picnicking spot and informed me that he had to embark on a six month journey to deliver a ship to Japan. He told me it was a short voyage in terms of a captain but in my mind and in my heart foolish though it may be, he may as well have said an eternity. A long, and horrible eternity.

The blow was like a harpoon or fiery lance within my heart. I did not cry in front of him but nodded and said I understood.

The next morning I went with Lord Griffin and Katrina to see Ahab off. Captain Ahab had the first and second mate, Mister Stubb and Mister Flask, lug his things to his cabin while saying his final goodbyes. Shaking lord Griffin's hand and kissing Katrina on the cheek it then came time for our goodbyes. "Goodbye Belle." He said lowly bowing to me keeping a formality. "Farewell Captain." I curtsied as well and he started off. I counted the steps he took ardently wishing for an excuse to tell him more and perhaps bless him before his journey. Fate was kind enough to supply that chance by leaving a scrap of blank paper at my feet. I picked it up and with a gulp of air ran after him.

"Captain!" I called meeting him in the middle of the gangplank, he turned to me and I handed him the scrap of paper, when our hands lingered I boldly and quickly stood on my tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek before whispering. "Godspeed,… Godspeed and come home to me soon." I went to pull away but his strong arms encircled my waist and he drew me near once more. "I can do nothing but hurry home to thee, my happiness is here. Be safe and forget me not my fairest maiden." He whispered back, in a tone that only I could hear. Then cupping my cheek he leant down and softly blessed my brow with a kiss.

We parted and I started back to the Griffins when he called after me. "Belle! Hark ye, what is this?"

I turned and saw him holding the blank piece of paper. I smiled and replied. "Exactly what it looks like." And with a wink walked away

At last he departed for the sea.

With my back pinned up against my door I sobbed into my hands uncontrollably; I knew with him gone six month was going to feel like six years.


	16. Chapter 14 Hot tarties & Apple pie

**_Chapter 13 Hot tarties and Apple pie_**

And indeed six months did feel like six years. Slowly the seasons changed from spring to summer to winter and it was agonizing. There were mornings when I would rise early and take Susanne to a hill overlooking the New Bedford docks so that I might watch for the Pequod and her captain.

I would shiver upon those cold mornings, the icy wind like sharp needles upon my skin, little knowing that I was not alone. On one particularly cold morning, when my daydreams were vivid and I was yearning immensely for Ahab's return I felt a warm knitted shawl draped around me,…it was then I met kind, loving Mary Starbuck and her son little William.

Mary was a right blooming young Quaker lass with flaming-red hair, freckles and brown eyes. She too was waiting for a whaling ship; only her ship The Daredevil held her husband Blaine chief mate of the ship who she had met and loved since their playfellow years as six year olds in grade school, it did not take long for her and I to become great friends in our time of mourning and missing. Loving a whaler is a grand thing to have in common and a grand conversation starter.

I stood in the kitchen, with a sigh I looked out onto a cloudy, silver sky. I sighed at the storm clouds gathering above as Mrs. Stone entered clutching her cream colored shawl to herself. "Ooh!" she cried. "Looks like it's going to blow a blue gale out there!" she then threw a fire log into the stove and rubbed warmth into her arms. I continued staring out the window at the billowy storm clouds. Mrs. Stone straightened up from where she was crouched next to the roaring fire in the stove, putting her hands on her hips sternly. "Jezebel, did you hear me?" I snapped to reality and resumed washing dishes. Mrs. Stone rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes I heard you." I replied.

"Looks like hot tarties and apple-pie tonight." She chirped I gave her a half smile over my shoulder. "A nice winters meal for a nice winters day." She added. Little did she know that my life had been an endless winter for the past six months. No flowers cheered me, no summer days warmed me, no birds songs enchanted me, there was only a dark never-ending December and the luminous sun I felt when in his arms, a sun that I would always remember, but perhaps never have back. his arms, a sun that I would always remember, but perhaps never have back.

"Whats this?" Mrs. Stone's smooth voice once again intruded on my thoughts, I turned and saw her standing over the table holding my filigree handkerchief. "it's nothing." I said quietly. Mischief lit her eyes suddenly. "And what a pretty little nothing it is." She croaked now dangling it in the air. "And whom may I ask is this pretty little nothing from?"

"N-no one." My voice cracked.

She nodded pursing her lips. "Ah! So you have a nothing from a no one hmm?" she then held it out at her side.

"Perhaps we should just use it as a scrub rag then."

"NO!" I cried snatching it from her hand, she chuckled warmly. "I knew it wasn't just a 'nothing.'"

A blush crossed my face as I then tucked the handkerchief in its rightful place above my heart, Mrs. Stone smiled.

"And from a very special someone too, by the looks of it." She then went back to the stove and put on a pot of tea and shook her head, nostalgically smiling. "Does my old heart good to see a girl, young and in love.…" she paused. "Even if it is with an older man."

My mouth dropped. She knew? She must have seen the astonishment in my expression because she began to chuckle again. "I knew it from the moment you agreed to take care of him when he was sick." She began. "Kind of like pups they are, men I mean, they look up at you with their big, helpless eyes one minute, and you tell yourself I'm only going to help him just this once, you feed them, care for them and the next minute you find yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life with them." She sighed still shaking her head and chuckling. "No good mutts."

In a moment of sympathy and understanding we exchange a smile.

Lightning then flashed outside the window and we both cried out in surprise. "My word!" gasped Mrs. Stone putting a hand to her chest as to steady her racing heart. "Zeus is really hurling them tonight! I hope it does not storm like this on Christmas!"

At this I smiled, stepping up on a stepping stool to put one of the delicate china cups in the pantry. "Yes." I complied. "But where is the thunder?"

"Turn thyself around… my fairest Belle."

My heart stopped. That voice! That low rumbling voice that stole into my thoughts, haunted my dreams and sent terrific shivers piercing through my body. I'm dreaming again, I thought. That cruel dream where he returns and I awake, empty.

Slowly, so slowly I turn and face him; I looked into his eyes…they told me that he is real. We stood there frozen in times grasp, my heart thrumming in my ears, my lips parting, my eyes misting, every fiber of my body aching, aching for his embrace, aching for my spring.

We broke out of time's hold and at last entered each others arms, he lifted me into the air effortlessly, my arms clasp around his neck, his hand buried into my hair.

We released each other and my hand unknowingly found his cheek, my happy tears streamed down my cheeks. "It's you!" I whispered as his hand wrapped itself over mine and he kissed my palm twice before pressing it once more to his face. "You came back! You came home."

"Aye, aye my Belle!" he confirmed before desperately grappling me to him again. I looked over to see that Mrs. Stone had gone, meaning that we were alone….

"Hello?" rang lord Griffin's jolly voice from the entry hall, Ahab and I broke away from each other again regaining some composure before lord Griffin entered.

Upon seeing Ahab, lord Griffin laughed. "Ahab old man!" he welcomed thrusting out his hand for him to shake. "Has it been six months already?"

Ahab gave a stiff nod as his old friend draped an arm about his broad shoulders. "Will you be staying at the Clamton inn again old chum? Or will you finally agree to stay with us?" he ask leading Ahab to the bottom of the stair well so that he might summon Katrina and Milady down to greet the captain.

"I wilt be staying with thee, if its of no trouble?" stated Ahab.

Tucking his thumbs in his vest pockets Lord Griffin threw his head back in his usual jolly chortle. "No trouble at all my fine fellow! Although Ms. Consuela Reveres will be disappointed you wont be passing by her pub!" still laughing lord Griffin then nudged Ahab before calling his daughter and wife downstairs.

I watched from the door as one after the other Katrina and milady showered the captain with controlled affection. "And as an extra treat my dears, the captain will be staying with us!" announced lord Griffin to the already pleased ladies. I smiled at the scene unfolding before me; for me June did not come in January as most say, but in early December that year.

Yet as the scene continued I was suddenly yanked back into the kitchen and into the presents of my scornful mother. "Not this again Jezebel!" she signed to me. "You are forgetting yourself! Your post in life!"

I dropped my eyes, knowing that she was right.

"I am serving them tonight, you stay upstairs." At this I wanted to retort, but could not. How could I explain it to her? How would she understand? How could I make her understand? I obeyed her with a curtsy and went sorrowfully up to my room.

So confined to my room I spent yet another evening without Ahab's enchanting presents, without his intellect, without his laughter, without his voice to sooth and tranquil me, though it was somewhat more easing that he was mere rooms away, and not whole oceans, yet still I longed for a more interment closeness then these walls would allow.

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**Hello folks a few things**

**1. sorry it took soo long**

**2. I wanted to add Starbuck and Mary's "brotherly, sisterly playfellow youth" thing since its from my favorite chapter (more Starbuck and Mary to come)**

**3. pleaseeee review 3**


	17. Chapter 15 The repression

**please review**

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**_Chapter 14 The Repression_**

The storm continued at a full gust; battering the shudders and shaking the trees with its strength. It was midnight and the household was well asleep, stomachs full of hot cider and roasted chicken. Grabbing my shawl I stole from my bed and crept downstairs and through the dark house.

It was only when I passed the parlor did I realized that I was not alone. Taken aback by the streaming light coming from the lamp I stepped back to find him sitting in lord Griffin's scarlet leather armchair, face fixed in concentration as he studied a double-framed picture of Katrina as a baby with milady on one side and me and my mother on the other side, milady insisted upon having both pictures done since Katrina and I were practically sisters.

I stepped up to the edge of the step leading down into the dimly lit parlor. The scene, his handsomeness…it was breathtaking.

"Thou was not at dinner, why?" he asked sternly never removing his eyes from the photographs

I dropped my eyes remembering my mother's words. "I had chores." I answered quietly.

"They couldn't have waited?" he quizzed in a short tone. "N-no sir."

His head snapped upwards and his gaze at last met mine. "So formal?" he asked the rumble of his voice carried to me.

"Y-yes sir." My mother's words now burned me, torturing me by keeping me from doing and saying what I truly wanted. "I… fear I was out of line earlier with my greeting…I apologize."

At this Ahab pressed together his lips into a thin line and gave a nod placing the picture back on the table before looking me head on a wave of tension passing between us. "Aye?." He finally said laying his hands palm to palm, the lamp shown like a lively flame burning in his eyes.

"Art thou glad I am staying here?... milady and thy friend Katrina have showered me with praises of my choice to stay,… but thou hast not."

All my emotion flooded me at once, my happiness, my missing him, it could all be said to him, all be known to him here and now, I looked into his eyes from across the room, with open-hearted confidence and answered. "I would not have it any other way." I then looked away again, eyes fixated on the dark shadows that the lamp cast upon the peach-colored carpet. I then cleared my throat. "But I digress sir, I should not state my opinion so openly."

His eyes suddenly became almost contemptuous yet his frustration was not towards me…but strangely enough for me. Seeing the dark sneer upon his face that was once so peaceful and happy I felt as If I owed him an explanation for my sudden cold formality.

"My mother you see,…my mother thinks I am losing sight of my station,…my place in life." he gave a nod of understanding and approached me until at last he joined me in the double-sized doorway, my body excited and rejoiced at the familiar closeness of him, yet all the while I still hungered and ached to be even closer as we now faced one another.

There was such serenity in our surroundings, such an ironic beauty. There we stood half shadowed by the darkness of the abandon entry hall, yet still half illuminated by the light that remained burning in the parlor. The storm had at last died down and though there was a wordless silence, in a single glance all was spoken. Softly Ahab brought his hand to my cheek and I inwardly quivered from the warmth of his sea-roughened palm against my skin.

He withdrew his hand and turned away coldly. "So be it then… my lady in waiting. Goodnight." He bid leaving me ever void.


	18. Chapter 16 Before the party

**please review**

**next chapter is told by Stubb :D**

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**_Chapter 15 Before the party_**

This continued for four entire days. My mother and my duties kept me from him just as the attentions of the Griffins kept him from me…or at least that's what my heart was to believe. Regardless, something within his countenance seemed darker, repressed in some way.

I knew not whether to confront him openly, or pray for him within the silence of my soul. I needed a chance, a chance to know him again; and I had thought I had been given that chance upon the night of December 12th. It was to be the homecoming party of Ahab taking place at the pub of Ms. Consuela Revers. Mrs. Stone, mother and I were invited by Lord Griffin himself.

As I adjusted milady's gown; her, Katrina and I discussed the upcoming Christmas season that was fast approaching. Katrina sat perched on her bed playing with her fingers through her white gloves. "I think my ideal gift would be jewelry." Katrina stated absentmindedly. "Nothing big, just a few bobbles, or a pretty new fan! What about you mother?"

"Oh." Sighed Lady Griffin measuring her waste in her hands within the mirror. "I think a fan would be nice, but I do believe that we are in need of a new fainting sofa at the top of the stairs." Then smirking "and I do believe I overheard your father acquiring one in a sea foam green in one of his many warehouses."

Katrina smiled. "And what about you Jeze? What is the ideal gift for the person who gives everything and wants for nothing?" she laughed teasingly.

I thought a moment. "My ideal gift?" hmm, let me see…. Peace on earth and good will towards mankind.. just as Charles Dickens said.."

"Charles who?" Katrina blinked,

"Charles Dickens." I explained. "The novelist!"

At this Katrina rolled her eyes and chuckled. "I should have know it was a spiel from a book, but that's not what I meant Jezebel! I meant something tangible!"

I paused concentrating on tying the ribbon on milady's dress into a bow. "A book."

"Ugh!' Katrina huffed throwing her head back. "You and your books! You can get a book from the library any day! A book… very ideal, Jeze, very ideal." She stated in sarcasm.

"That is quite enough Katrina Elizabeth!" reprimanded milady going to the vanity to retrieve her pearls. "I think it's a marvelous gift idea Jeze dear! Sounds like a gift out of the heart of a true romantic."

"Psh! Sounds like a gift out of a person who hasn't received enough gifts in her lifetime." Katrina muttered under her breath

I began to laugh. "There is nothing wrong with books! I don't see what you have against them."

Katrina then stood. "I have nothing against books, it's you taking SO much pleasure in them that I do not understand!".

"Stop this!" milady finally snapped. "I will NOT have you two bantering tonight!" she then calmed herself. "Now Jeze, will you and your mother need to borrow a dress?" she asked.

"No milady." I curtsied. "Mrs. Stone is out retrieving our dresses at the tailors now."

"Very good dear!" she commended before taking her leave. Katrina then swooshed to her jewelry box and withdrew the black choker.

"I thought you might want to wear your choker tonight!" she exclaimed handing it to me and a puzzled look crossed my face.

" My choker?" I quizzed while sitting on her bed, seeming more mesmerized by the velveteen collar then ever before.

"Yes! Its been yours all along a young man gave it to you when we were but 5 years old, you told me to keep it in my jewelry-box so your mother would not take it away! Don't you remember?"

I didn't. Katrina left shortly after that, offering no further explanations and I was left to tend to my mother.

My mother took my hand gingerly as I went to tuck another bobby pin into her hair and I took it as an indication that she wanted to speak with me, I knelt before her the wind whistled outside my bedroom window. "Now Jeze I want you to remember tonight is not for pleasure alone." She told me. "You are still a servant girl and you must act as such. There will be no approaching anyone without them approaching you first and that includes Captain Ahab."

I dropped my eyes to her lap and nodded softly. With a gentle movement my mother lifted my chin with her finger and I met her eyes again, "Jezebel Bernice Wilder, I know you think I am being hard on you, but the truth is you are 18 now and not married. I need to train you to be an appropriate wife and not make the same mistakes I made. Lady Griffin has agreed to help find a suitable husband for you." She then took me by the shoulders briefly. "You need a man of your age, of wealth who can support you."

My eyes widen and I felt a pinch of surprise overcome me, she had never shown any concern about money before, and despite that she was speaking of an arranged marriage of sorts.

"But what if I have fallen in love with someone."

At this she raised an eyebrow. "Is he a servant boy?' she asked tilting her head. I swallowed hard and shook my head, still stunned at her inquiry of rank. "No mother, he is very well off… not that it matters to me." I then dropped my eyes. "I think, I would love him even if he were the poorest man on earth."

My mother's eyes then began to sparkle with delight. "And does he love you?' she pressed.

I shook my head, feeling somewhat ill at the uncertainty of my answer. "I don't know. At times, I think he does…love me. Then there are other times when I think it is just his kind nature." I then began to ramble. "There are times when I think he sees me as a child. There are times I think he sees me as a woman. There are times when I think he wants to kiss me, then I think the idea repulses him. I have never wanted a man like this before, and-"

There was a gentle wrap upon the door

"My, my, my." Breathed Mrs. Stone kicking my bedroom door shut behind her before sitting the three white dress boxes in her arms on the bed. "It is hard to find dresses in my size anymore and walking against the wind was a chore in itself, I don't know how you do it Jeze." She then half fainted into the wooden chair in the corner of my room, fanning herself with her hand though it was the dead of winter.

My mother then arose from the vanity where I was doing her hair for her and went to one of the boxes. She pointed to it and Mrs. Stone nodded confirming it was hers. My mother withdrew the lovely rose-pink garment, nodded to indicate that it was to her satisfaction and began to dress. I mocked her motion and went to the bed myself. "The one that looks like a tent is my dress." Panted Mrs. Stone still trying to regain her bearings.

Opening one of the boxes I found a midnight blue gown with a laced white collar. The sleeves were sheer and clasp at the wrist tightly. It cinched around the waist and came down in a two layered skirt. It was simple and in a way plain, yet it was the most beautiful thing regarding clothing that I owned. Upon putting it on and styling my hair up my mother and Mrs. Stone stared at me.

"She's an adult." Signed, my mother, an heir of melancholy in her soft green eyes. "And a beautiful one at that." added Mrs. Stone; my mother turned and Mrs. Stone winked at me before saying. "And the captain will be mad for you!"

So putting the final touches to our costumes such as borrowed earrings, pinning my filigree handkerchief above my heart, slipping the Spanish coin within my shoe (as I always did) and fastening the black choker round my neck. Checking the manor one last time we set off, knowing that we would be the last ones there.


	19. Chapter 17 The party (Stubb)

_**review please**_

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**_Chapter 16 The party_**

Stubb (the second mate) p.o.v the pub

Ha! What a jolly place for jolly old Stubb to be. It was very nice of that Lord Griffin fellow to send all the mates an invitation, yet it is a shame that Mr. Flask could not come, but the old captain seems no worse for wear. In fact the old man seems a bit distracted. And why shouldn't he be? It seems as if the pubs owner fancies him, or at least fancies his money.

But he seems not jovial over her pampering attentions. See now, she rubs the captain's leg secretly under the table and he does not mark it. Seems queer, very queer, him being a hot-blooded male and not marking such an open invitation by a hearty and attractive female. Aye but he does mark something now! He looks to the door and what's this? A pleased smile crosses his face.

I look towards the door myself, more guests! An old lady, a younger lady and a young lady, three generations perhaps! I look back at the captain who has now left the side of the pub owner and is advancing towards his new guest. Methinks he is gladdest to see the youngest of the three and I notice, that she is very beautiful, more beautiful than most, certainly not as beautiful as my wife Charity, a little thin for my taste yet still a beauty.

He kisses each of the ladies hands and bows, yet upon kissing the hand of the youngest I could see a fire burning in both pair of eyes. Certainly the Captain should not have such hot embers for such a young lady? Tis queer I tell thee.

They part ways, yet prolong glances are stolen even as they walk away. The girl goes to the Griffins; lady and daughter, and the captain goes to see Mr. Eliot Peleg, who is standing with young Mr. Starbuck. Methinks I will go see what this is about.

"Yes and this is my replacement Mr. Blaine Starbuck." Mr. Peleg is introducing Captain Ahab to the young man, and vice versa. Ha! this must mean I won five pence from Mr. Flask in our bet about the last voyage being old Peleg's last!

"It is my pleasure to be serving you as chief mate sir." Says Starbuck giving the Captain's hand a firm shake. "My boy and I often admire the Pequod whenever we happen to be on the Warf and she is docked."

"Aye and your boy has good taste in ships then." The captain chuckles. "Tell me, Mr. Starbuck hast thou had much experience in whaling?"

"Aye sir, I have been a chief mate for 6 years now and I started as a cabin boy on my father's ship when I was twelve."

"A cabin boy on thy father's ship ay?" inquired the captain. "Whaling hast been thy families trade then for many years?"

"Aye sir. My father was a captain, and his father before him. Sadly sir, many a Starbuck can be found at the bottom of the sea."

The old man thrust out his hand again. "So it was with my father as well!

Thus I welcome thee aboard.

We sail new years day!"

Then eyeing the blonde-beauty from earlier, who is sipping wine from across the room. "Excuse me gentlemen, but destiny calls."

"I trust thy wine is mixed with water." The captain said half laughing as he startled her. Pressing her fingers to her lips she chuckles softly. "Not this time. I am 18 now".

She then set her glass down and now their eyes meet. "You look so beautiful Belle…. and so bewildering this way. Thou hides thy pretty face behind thy locks too much Belle."

I see now, as the captain secretly brushes a stray ringlet from her eyes. The captain like a stud horse with his ears piercing the sky for any challenge nostrils wide open taking in deep breaths of air filling his chest certainly not a man to cross, just as on his ship he owns the room, and look how well he is courting his pray.

The girl takes a deep breath; it is her turn to speak. "Whatever I said the other night, to make you angry and leave the room so…. I am deeply sorry."

So they had a fight!

"I was not angered by thee." He then lowered his voice. "I was angered by the situation that ye and me are in…dance with me and I wilt share more."

A dance is the only time a man and a woman canst truly be alone in these gala events.

And so, round and round they go, stepping fore and aft, fore and aft and to my amazement, despite the age difference they look quite natural together. They embrace and caress each other like the sea caresses the land. Aye Sea and land! He is the sea, hellish and brutal and this girl is the calm peacefulness of the shore.

"Thy rank matters not to me, I wish thy mother and the world wouldst see how far above thy rank thou art."

The girl drops her eyes.

"Aye, but the world makes perfect sense to me tonight." he declares slightly drawing her nearer before halting. "That choker… how long hast thou had it?"

Her eyes meet his again. "Since I was five, or so I hear." She replies

"And who gave it to thee?" he asks.

"A young man, I-I do not remember who."

The captain then smiled. "Aye, I had my suspicions that you were her from the time we met,…you see about 14 years ago I came to New Bedford on my leave and stayed with the Griffins, I had bought a similar choker for a girl named Leona in Spain whom I was courting, but I ended up giving it to a young child as a parting gift."

The girl then blushed like a rose. "Then tonight sir; all I am wearing is gifts from you."

"Aye, I did notice the kerchief pinned to thy lovely gown."

Now see this Stubb, the girl reaches up to whisper in his ear. "I have the coin in my shoe, Il cherish it…even as I cherish you."

He now pulls away and with longing looks into her eyes, tingling, trembling hands about her waste. "Must we always speak in whispers?" he ask wantonly, they both lean in, and with eye slightly shut in expectancy! Oh lean, lean more will ye? Stubb is now rooting for thee.

"May I cut in?" oh no! now who is this striking young lad that now wants to take the captain's beauty away? It looks like young Wesley Summit whose step father is famous for his wine. Why, it is young Summit! See Ahab now eyes him like the devil as he passes the girl on to him. Oh horrid acquiescence, they were so close!

The pub owner in fast is approaching the captain again, and lady Griffin is not far behind! "Oh captain, you must take Ms. Revers to the new restaurant at the inn." Says the lady.

"I have been there before." States the pub owner with a saucy smirk, but it is better with two."

The captain does not answer, for he is still eyeing his beauty and the young man.

"A darling couple, are they not?" the grand lady chortled, addressing the captain. "I do believe we will be hearing wedding bells soon!"

"Aye?" ask the captain.

"Oh yes, they have known each other a long time, childhood sweethearts you might say and Wesley has already inquired to me about her hand in marriage."

At this a sower-apple look crosses the captain's face. "…she never mentioned him to me…."

The dance is done and the young man approaches the captain, and the captain inwardly snarling.

"Captain Ahab is it?" he asks thrusting out an olive-skinned hand. "Wesley Summit. Do forgive me for cutting into your dance earlier, but I wanted to speak with my intended, get the courtship underway you know!...Jeze tells me you are great friends?"

The words cut him, blunt and sharp like a cutting-tackle. "Great friends, your intended and I." he repeats bitterly. "Yes, as close as any."

With that the Captain asked to be excused and made his way across the room toward Mr. Griffin and a group of very business-like looking men. I must say the young lady that was having such a grand time was looking a bit muckled and on the verge of tears of frustration.

When it comes time for me to retire, perhaps this New Bedford may be just for me and the misses to live.


	20. Chapter 18 Musings (Ahab)

**reviews are 3**

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**_Chapter 17 Musings _**

**_Ahab p.o.v the Clamton inn, midnight_**

I take to this, hotel bed once more, yet I crave to be under her linen- next to her, or better still have her under my linen in my cabin. Yes! Take her around the world, see the beauties and wonders of the world by day and by night discern passion and its many splendors, our bodies serving as undiscovered islands yet to be explored, our flesh ever burning and hungering for each other. Oh heaven, will I ever clinch this maddening desire?

Desire, what art thou? What means the word? A man can desire many things. A hungry man can desire to eat, thus he breaks the bread. A man can desire to drink, thus from the goblet he sips. A man can desire to go to sea, thus he boards a whaler But all those things can be prolonged, yet this is more than man's mere desire to bed a female… this is love's desire; the most dangerous of them all. It can drive a man mad, make him a willing slave, twist and contort and torture his soul. Desire driven by love is an all-consuming flame and it is this flame that hast led me away from the Griffin-away from her and to this inn. I would lose all sight of self-control if she was to be near me now, like a man half-starved placed before a grand meal.

I long for my equal, my dearest companion and my truest friend to be at my side to not only warm these frigid nights but also to fill the loneliness of daylight hours. Belle-my Belle- thou hast the glow of gentle summer-blue in thine eyes and to long have I denied myself of that warmness.

Belle- steward of my heart, nourishment of my soul- my wine, my air. I have tried in vain to forget thee! I had thought that six months at sea wouldst have been the remedy of this obsession, but even miles away ye haunted and tormented me.

Everywhere I turn she was there, I woke in the morning and heard the men scrubbing the deck and imagine her at work on her chores. I saw her eyes in the blue hue of the ocean and in the mildness of tropic skies. and heard her voice whispering my name upon the breeze, ever seducing me and stealing me from my duties as captain.

Aye if I could but take her away, we wouldst be free from all this. Free to have and hold. I could at last give her the adventure she so longs for, free to watch her learn from distant isles what Ahab hast learn. For that's what she is, Ahab's younger and sweeter self. In her I see that young boy-harpooneer I once was, before the corruption of the sea and sailor's customs. Oh innocence, oh youth where art thou now? Now that I wish to take a bride.

I wilt tell ye where thou art, youth! Thou waste and flaunts thy self on that fool Wesley! He is but a dog that I can master over and kennel! Nay, not a dog…but a dog's flea! Pesky, annoying flea! Flaunt not your wealth to Belle, for she hast not a bone of greed in her stunning body unlike her mother and lady. But Ahab too has money if not youth to win her guardians over.

If not for my friendship with Lafayette Griffin, I would steal her away. Since I cannot do so, then let me instead win over and pacify the female-guardians of my ladylove.

I must speak with Lafayette! I must have him explain to his wife that what I feel for Belle is more than a man's physical desire. Milady must understand that this longing is for my best earthly companion, my kindred spirit in love for knowledge, nay… my kindred spirit in everything. My soul's mate. Around the world and through the seas of time I have searched for such a girl, such a deep and pure love as this. I am an older man… but not an old man.

Let my age be proof of how long I have searched, let these old arms shield Belle in a loving, longing and almost paternal, everlasting love. Let then, orphaned Ahab, still vibrant in his soul take Belle as his wife.


	21. Chapter 18 Musings (Jeze)

_**dear readers,**_

_**i have changed the name Ahab to Gideon because...my parents made me... they want this story to be "orginal" so i'm so sorry please keep reading and revieing 3**_

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**Jeze p.o.v her room**

I watched my chest heaving in frustration within the mirror as I sat in only my corset and petticoat. Ever since I have turned 18 my existence has seemed a mess. It is as if everything I've done was wrong. It was so clear to me now, Lady Griffin and my mother fully intended for me to marry Wesley, something I could never do…not now. He held neither physical attraction nor mental stimulation for me. He had the view that women were inferior to men. A view instilled in him as a young boy by his stepfather, for his mother was more a servant to him than a mother, or a wife to her husband.

Often he would undermine and belittle Katrina and me in school, constantly teasing and insulting us that we were stupid because of our gender. In fact, if not for milord's investment in the vineyards both Katrina and I would have gladly discarded and dismissed Wesley as a cruel, little dolt or nincompoop.

Wesley did grow out of his bullying stage, and eventually became a fair conversationalist and loyal friend. After all, when the barn burnt down two summers ago he was one of the first to pick up a hammer and nail. Yet his medieval ideals on women and marriage still remained. Even tonight he talked down to me as if I was somehow still that small child whose hair he use to pull. My intellect mattered naught to him; in fact, he wishes that I had less intellect if not at all. The way he rolled his eyes at me when I began to question his figures on the vineyard's yields in polite conversation told me so.

"Dear little Jeze." He laughed. "The numbers would be far beyond you, besides we have more important things to discuss."

He then began speaking to me about marriage and breeding. His family was a pedigree family and had a long line of strong, attractive Summit boys (even though Wesley was only an adopted Summit), while Summit daughters were dismissed as malfunctioning errors and were often sent to boarding school or to live with an "aunt" of sorts. Summit daughters much like Summit wives were only spoken of when they were to wed or supplied another male Summit, and even then it was little talk of the wife or daughter herself. In a Summit household all was male; the dogs were male, the horses were male, I think even the rats were male.

Wesley told me he had an older stepsister once, Hattie, though one would never know. I never saw anything of her, and I wonder now if I did in fact marry Wesley if I would become a ghost and dead to the world also.

Aside from that…breeding with Wesley to me would be like breeding with ones kin. Wesley had no sexual appeal to me in any way; he was like a brother to me, just as Katrina is a sister. My attraction to Wesley matched that of my attraction to a tree-limb or stump. I cringed to think of reproducing with him, I cringed to think of him desiring me in that way.

I now go to the window and look at the night sky, my hair brush still in hand. Sea of black in the sky, what image can I conjure in you? you and your many celestial waves of stars. And the moon the commanding captain of all the night time heavens. In your unending tides of blackness I see the visage of Gideon… my resilient and tender Gideon. Gideon the captain of the seas, captain of the stars and moon and the captain of my heart.

Something else became clear to me this night. Gideon loved me that I knew. I now saw it as clear as I could see the moon and stars before me. I saw it in the way he moved, the way he looked at me. I now felt his love in his every touch and heard it ring in every word he spoke. Captain Wrath loved me and he too grew weary of hiding it.

But how long could this go on? I wondered.


	22. Chapter 19 Reading

**_Chapter 18 reading_**

Days went by and Gideon and I never got the chance to be alone with one another, quite conveniently Wesley or Ms. Revers would show up unannounced at our door whenever possible.

We never got the chance to openly and verbally express our love and devotion to one another, to set the corner stone of our love for which we would soon need to battle those that would protest our devotion.

One awkward moment after another Captain Wrath and I eventually found it a rarity to ever be alone, and certainly never long enough to enter a conversation on that subject. I found the more time I spent with Wesley, all the more desperately I wanted Gideon.

I recall one night in particular when a bountiful snow yet fell again in white flecks of glory, all four of us were left alone in the sitting room; Gideon reading a book on the sofa with Ms. Revers at his side and me sitting with my legs crossed in front of the hearth with Wesley reading over my shoulder. Despite the crackling of that arose from the fireplace, here was a silence in the room that was deafening. I could feel the eyes of Gideon leering at us from over his book, that searing, piercing gaze of a cannibal. When Wesley touched my hair in an act of seduction Gideon would cough as if he were choking or suddenly get to the window to check the weather or sometimes reading a sentence aloud from his book.

"Was this the face that launched a thousand ships?

"And none but thou shalt be my paramour"

He paused and then added, not reading but speaking from out his own heart. "Dost thou love me too?"

With a blush I turned my head and our eyes met intensely…I knew that this was his way of speaking to me in secret. His eyes now searched mine for an answer, lifting my own book to my eye level I cleared my throat and began to read.

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw both the confused expression upon Ms. Revers' face and Gideon's nod of contentment. Wesley gave a laugh and shook me by the shoulder playfully. "Very good reading my dear." But I did not acknowledge him, for with eyes still locked on Gideon I took in the realization that through the words of Christopher Marlowe and Shakespeare, we confessed our love to one another.… I his Helen and he my Romeo.

The next day came with a fresh blanket of snow covering the ground. The sun blessed the snow with a warm angelic shimmer. The earth much like the manor and the streets were vibrant with ice cycles acting like prisms, the red berries of the juniper bushes stood out like ornaments and what little greenery was left had a velvet luster against the purity of the new snow. A fitting display for the upcoming celebration of the birth of our savior which was the next day. With all that was going on I was plagued with the thought that soon I would lose Gideon to the sea again; and the North Star perhaps more a lover of his then I could ever hope to be. I let my curtains rest in my hands and I smiled down at the image of Gideon and lord Griffin walking the property side by side. Even from this distance I could see the sweetness of his face, his dark eyes glistening with the snow. He was my gift this Christmas and every Christmas thereafter.

With a burst of joy my bedroom door opened and Ms. Stone entered. "Come away from the window!" she summoned placing a white box upon the bed. "Katrina and I have a surprise for you."

Outdoors (narrative)

The snow glinted in the sun's light and crunched under his step, the beauty of the manor dressed in winter's white cloak would have been capturing to any man yet Gideon so lost in himself and his thoughts he only came to when his younger companion spoke.

"Blasted weather; I hope this sudden change will not affect whatever business you needed to tend to."

Gideon snapped out of his thoughts and turned to the jolly lord and straightened up. "No the snow is a nice change, besides at the present thou art my business."

Lord Griffin blinked tucking his thumbs away into his pockets, halting walking in a gesture to inform the other man that he had his full attention.

The old sea captain took in a breath and began his speech. "As thou knowst, I am getting older... I have begot a luckless and loveless life thus far. Too many… I am an unapproachable man, who hast decided to wed himself to a ship and for a while I also held that to be true… until my last homecoming…"

Lord Griffin nodded. "You met someone then?" He finished.

"Aye….this girl…this woman makes me want for things much more than any ship could offer; for a ship can never bare me a child, or offer me a hand to hold by the hearth when my final days near. In this girls eyes I am much more then I have ever wanted or have hoped to be. Men aboard my ship claim that the woman they love are their northern star…Belle…is mine."

" Belle?" pressed the lord searching his brain for recollection of any woman by that name, yet only one came to mine. "Jezebel Wilder?" the words sounded so outrageous; the girl was a child, as old as his own child!

"Aye…" confirmed the captain. "I have tried to convince myself otherwise …for the girls sake, but her intellect, her beauty it staggers me so… moves me." the captain then cast his eyes down upon the blackness of his boots. "I am not a hero… Lafayette. I am not by any means a saint… I am just a man, a man who is trying to love, not unlike any other man."

Ending his confession he again met with the gaze of his companion who still lounged with amusement on his face: All the bewilderment and disbelief dismissed from his eyes now, he waved his giant hand smoothly as he concluded for his dear friend.

"Then… you must marry the girl."

This struck the captain as a surprising answer, the portly lord chuckled deeply. "Does my approval disappoint you old hearty?"

"Nay… but I am dumbfounded…"

Lord Griffin then withdrew his pipe from his coat pocket and placed it between his plump lips before lighting it, the air filling with its pungent aroma.

Then placing a hand on his good friends shoulder. "Marry her Gideon, every man deserves an opportunity at happiness. Besides any one can see that Jeze or Belle as you call her has a fondness in her heart that she has never expressed towards another. Think of my blessings as a gift to both of you."

Gideon smiled and with a sense completion in his heart relaxed his tense shoulders…that was until he saw the carriage of Wesley rolling up to the front steps of the manor.


	23. Chapter 20 Confession

**_Chapter 20 Confession _**

**Jeze p.o.v before her full-length mirror**

"Katrina and I were going through some of my old things…" Began Mrs. Stone as she laced up the dress. "We both saw this and thought it would look magical on you."

The dress was the green of a thousand Christmas trees, falling off my shoulders slightly yet ending in a lighter green lace at my elbows that flowed, the bodus and skirt trimmed in a similar lace. Fitted around the waist the skirt bellowed out yet also flowed like a drift of snow and in my hair was a dark-green silk ribbon to match.

With Katrina and Mrs. Stone helping me upstairs Lady Griffin answered the door. "Hello Wesley, Jeze will be down as soon as she finishes trying on her new gown, please, come in and have a seat." I heard her say. Inwardly I cringed to think of another outing with Wesley, even if Katrina was companying us. I stole a glance outside the small opening of the door. Before Lady Griffin could close the front door the captain and milord had made it to the porch.

Entering Lord Griffin grabbed milady by the arm at the elbow and rushed her into the parlor;

"Margret I think we need to talk and I think we need Charlotte." He state. Milady blinked with concern "What is it Lafe, is everything alright?"

"Yes and no where are the children?" he looked about the room franticly

Another look of puzzlement. "Jeze and Katrina are on their way down Wesley is going to take them for a ride to town and..."

Before anyone knew what was going on, there was some load and course conversation coming from the entry hall and with a loud bang, and awkward passing glances between Katrina, Ms. Stone and I, we all gathered our skirts and rushed our way down the flight of stairs to the commotion in the entry hall.

I gasped. There stood Gideon with his hand wrapped like a vice around Wesley's neck, teeth clinched in all his fury, as Wesley clutched desperately at the hand strangling him. "Speak of Belle to me thusly again and GLADLY I WILT rid the world of thee!" he hissed. My hand shot out and gripped his shoulder. "No!" I cried. "Gideon, please, Gideon!"

"Captain, WRATH! at sea you are a captain and king but remember you are a civilian on land, please release that young man. For heavens sakes man let the lad breathe!" Lord Griffin exploded upon entering the room.

Gideon then released Wesley who stumbled to my side gasping for air as he massaged his throat. "Come Jeze." Wesley then ordered grasping my hand and starting to drag me away. "I will not allow you to be in the grasp of this… this lunatic captain!"

In a flurry, Gideon lunged forward again and it seemed as if everyone was trying to speak at the same instant, ramblings and mutterings and arguments all in a frantic, mind splitting slurry…until, at last my own voice rang out. "ENOUGH!"

All was silent and I stepped fourth into the circle. "Captain may I say what I believe needs to be said to your friends and my family. We are at the cusp of Christmas and I no longer wish to wait or wonder what others will think or say." I then addressed them all. "Mother, lady Griffin, I love this man…" I said looking into the eyes of Captain Wrath for strength. "…with all my heart and soul…I love this man…. And I have cause to believe he loves me to…. If he would ask me, I would marry him tomorrow... I am his, heart, soul, body and mind…I want for no other."

I saw the disgust upon my mother's face, then Wesley's face, then milady's face.

"Jeze this man is old enough to be your father!" signed my mother in all dismay.

"Captain! Captain, set her straight! You must set her straight!" milady shrilled on the verge of fainting into her husband's arms.

"Mother!" Katrina rolled her eyes. Gideon then stood before me and placed his hand upon my cheek, repressed longing burning in his eyes. "Belle… thou hast no idea how long I have yearned to hear those words come from thy lips."

At this milady nearly screamed. "No, no, no, no, no, NO! This is all wrong! The age difference! The age difference! And the rank! What of your ranks? Captain surely your rank will not allow you to marry a servant girl!"

Gideon then took my hand and faced lady Griffin head on. "Milady, if my rank is what keeps me from Belle then let me resign my captainship and become a stable-hand." Then turning to my mother. "Mrs. Wilder, I love thy daughter more than my own flesh and blood and…"

"I've had about enough of this!" Wesley interrupted, storming to the door and retrieving his hat, milady all the while chasing after him, whaling his name.

My mother then stepped up to me, an almost loathing pain in her eyes. "I have never felt so betrayed in my life." she told me. As she walked away into the parlor, I wondered how my loving Gideon could cause so much harm and anguish for my mother and lady Griffin. Had they wished me to marry Wesley that badly?

Lord Griffin then approached as Milady joined my mother in the parlor. Milord gave a weak smile. "Go change Jeze, it would be best that you work on your chores while I talk to your mother and Margret." Then turning to Gideon. "You may stay if you like…. Katrina come!"

And with that he too went into the parlor shutting the doors behind him.


	24. Chapter 21 Sun and Moon

**_Chapter 21 Sun & moon_**

"You don't understand, I have known this man for most of my adult life. He has been both friend and business partner to me. His kindness has never faltered towards anyone, especially towards anyone in this household. Is he a jolly man? No, but why should he be? Orphaned, beaten as a child, hell I doubt I would be jolly after half of the things this man has endured! He has done so much for this family, he is as reliable as the sun itself! And never, ever has this man ask me for ANYTHING…until today. Today he ask me for one thing, he ask me for a girls hand in marriage and you should have seen the want, and love, and devotion in this man's eyes when he asked me! This is not a foolish or naïve, nor whimsical, young pup we are speaking of…this is a man! A man who's seen the world. This is a man who has been to the South Seas and never once returned to me boasting of an escapade, or even speaking of a woman at all. For a while I thought this man…this sea captain was incapable of love until today. Today I saw that this man is capable of more love then any of us could ever imagine. Now this man loves this little girl with all he has…and yet I see you, Charlotte and Margret asking for more… how cruel of both of you to deny this man and this girl the one thing they truly want…a life together!"

I let my hand slid sorrowfully down the crack of the door. They had been in the parlor for hours now and from what I could tell, neither my mother nor milady was relenting. It was Katrina's turn to speak now.

"Fathers right mother. Neither Jeze nor uncle Wrath are fools. Neither take love lightly. Jeze is like a sister to me and I only want what's best for her. I know there is an age difference mother, but her not being with Gideon…or being banned from ever seeing him again is going to kill her for the rest of her life. This is not just some fling mother…this is love."

I tore myself away from listening just as milady was about to start another upheaval (joined by my mother). Wiping away some escaped tears with the back of my hand I took the wash pale into the sitting room where Gideon was. It was hopeless. Wordlessly I knelt down upon the floor and began to scrub. A hand suddenly joined mine upon the brush, overlapping. I looked up into his eyes and took his hand, bringing it to my lips and kissed it softly before he stroked my cheek. "I wilt fight for thee.… I shall always fight for our love." He promised in a whisper, pinning me to his chest. "Let hell and high waters come, let the wrath of god fall upon me, I wilt never stop fighting, never!"

"You are my sunlight…" I replied almost silently, remembering the words of Lord Griffin.

"and thou art my moon, Belle."

I pulled away and again met his eyes as we sat knees to knees upon the marvel flooring, my skirt and apron pooled around me. "They will never let us be together." I stated as he incased my hands in his as he tried to assure me. "They will, they will, we must have faith."

I shook my head. "No, I know them…I know my mother, she will make it so we never can see each other again."

"Then we wilt run away." He paused. "Belle, I must have you…I must!"

"We can't run away." I shook my head again. "I could not do that to my family, nor to you. If you ran away with me… with a servant girl, you will lose respect and perhaps your captainship and then you may look at me as a regret…I cannot bare that thought."

I looked down at my hands that were trembling and shaking. He took them to steady them; I looked up into his awaiting eyes filled with kindness and need. He slid his fingers behind my neck, with half-shut eyes and in total abandonment he brought his lips to mine; massaging them with his ardor and love. My hands slid upwards onto his chest as I began to kiss back. In this passionate yet controlled first kiss, I felt every fiber of my body reminding me of how long I secretly ached for this moment in time and with each movement of his lips and each burning touch of his hands drawing me near he told me he ached for me just as long…if not longer.

Our lips broke apart slowly and we turned to see my family before us, ready to determine our fate. Gideon stood and pulled me to my feet before holding me close to him, my mother frowned and Gideon swallowed before making one final attempt. "Please Mrs. Wilder…" he stated quietly looking down at our joined hands. "…Can't you see that I love her…please don't send me away."

Milady parted her lips to speak, but to my amazement my mother intervened, she stepped up to Gideon and looked him in the eyes, Katrina spoke for her as she signed.

"Sir…I call you sir because I do not feel I can call you young man. The fact that you and my daughter have been seeing each other romantically does not bother me. What troubles me is that she did not come to me with it sooner… but I realize she did it to spare my feelings as well as milady's, because I taught her to put her duties before herself…. And she has come to me with it now. Sir I bore my child out of wedlock and have made her suffer for my mistake out of my love and my want for her to have a better life. But I cannot ask her to abandon her own heart for my sake. I see that, you, a captain have been faithful to my daughter, a teenage girl, born into servant life, you have waited for her in your age….not many men would do that. Clearly you are in love with her and give her a fulfillment and happiness that I have always hoped for her to have…if you are to marry my daughter as you say, then, gladly I accept you as a son-in-law." She then took Gideon's hand and mine and pressed them firmly together before looking at me. "Make him a good wife…that is your duty now." And with this I embraced and thanked my mother with tears of joy in my eyes. Lady Griffin then came up to me and embraced me with congratulatory kisses upon the cheek and lord Griffin commended my mother on her speech and assured her of her place that always remain in his home. All was at last well.


	25. Chapter 22 Christmas

**_Chapter 22 Christmas_**

Christmas morning came for me with overwhelming joy. I stood at the top of the stairs and smiled gazing upon my surroundings. Everything seemed brighter and more beautiful at this time, even when I was a small girl. In the manor Christmas was the time when none of the servants were regarded as anything less than family, every last servant had fine china setting at the table if they wished to stay for dinner.

From the garland wrapped around the banister of the stairwell, to the vibrant reds and greens of the towering tree nestled in the parlor, to the merry carols belted by milord and the stable-hand, to the twinkling candles that seemed to hover in the silent night, to the magnificent pleasure that the Christmas feast and presents brought to the household, the magic of the holiday never was lost to me and never would be.

I heard my mother and lady Griffin laughing with Mrs. Stone about the events of yesterday in the kitchen and I inwardly giggled as well. "There you are!" Katrina called up to me hands on the hips of her wine-colored gown. Lord Griffin laughed as he came in behind her with Christmas cards in his hands. "Going to start wrestling already girls?" he teased and I grinned at the humorous memory of Katrina and I bantering over who had the best gifts.

"Not unless she admits my gifts are better!" she stated childishly. "Not on your life Katrina Elizabeth!" I vigorously returned. With a smirk she added. "Admit it Wilder, you are jealous!" and all at once we were children again as we had a small war of "am not, are too!" before hugging.

In a fluster Mrs. Stone came in carrying a straw bonnet, its green ribbon danced as she approached me. "Best be getting your bo now Jeze dear!" she stated tying the bonnet under my chin. "Breakfast will be ready in an hour." I gave a curtsy and smile and set off.

As I walked down the thoroughfare covered with snow, I could not remove the smile from my lips because I knew that each step brought me closer to my beloved.

"Good Morning Jess!" Mrs. Poolie called from the library door. "Good morning!" I returned cheerfully, waving . "Merry Christmas!'

I entered the inn, the smell of a warm, sweet breakfast wafted from the restaurant to my nose as I approached the desk. The concierge peered at me from over his glasses and with a tired sigh asked me if I was checking in. "No." I replied. "I am looking for someone actually. Can you tell me where I might find captain Wrath?"

Before the concierge could answer I heard a familiar voice sing out my name. I turned only to be startlingly lifted into the air and spun around. "Oh Belle, Belle!" he chuckled, I too laughed as he set me down, I had never before seen him so joyous. "I could hardly stand to sleep last night, my happiness kept me awake so, because I knew that the next morning…in these arms I would hold an angel!" he then took my hand and led me over to one of the sofas. "Come, come and see the gifts I have gotten for thy family!"

Then with a boyish excitement he began pointing to each package. "This one is for milady, this one for Katrina and those three…those three art for thy mother!" he then turned to me and cupped my face in his hands. "I am so happy Belle." He remarked softly before kissing me gently on the lips. "…so very happy…YOU have made me so happy." He then kissed me again. This time I was allowed to return the kiss, my entire body tingled with that marvelous yet frightening sensation I had only come to discover after our first kiss. Our lips broke apart again. "We…are going to be late for breakfast." I said with a nervous laugh.

I began to walk away but once more he pulled me near. "Wait." The captain summoned. "Before we leave there is a gift I must give to milady, thy mother and ourselves." Reaching into his left breast pocket he withdrew a ruby ring, my heart stopped. "Belle Wilder… my fairest maiden…do me the honor of becoming my wife."

All I could do was breathlessly laugh as he slid the delicate ring on my left hand. "When?" I asked stupidly and his answer surprised me. "This morning….after mass. I cannot wait anymore Belle, I ache for thee.. I want thee…I need thee... I love thee."

My heart sang with the joy of this moment, with the joy of him loving me. "Yes!" I cried. "Yes!"

When my fiancé and I reached the gate of the manor we were met with tears of joy and praise.

Christmas was always my favorite holiday and todays Christmas was going to be for me the largest happiest day I would ever experience. No one was letting me help with breakfast and had me shed my attention to Gideon. This year unlike any other year Gideon was sat at the head of the table and I to his right in Lady Griffins seat. We all sat as a family with a feast of breakfast before us ham, sausage, eggs, poorage, hot cakes swimming in syrup, buttermilk biscuits, and scones. Lord Griffin clearing his throat, standing and raising his wine flute in the air, my bridegroom took my hand, giving my fingers an affectionate squeeze, soft candlelight and love flickered in his eyes.

"I would like to propose a toast! Not only to our lord Jesus Christ and to our loved ones, but I would like to toast the marriage of two wonderful people. I am truly blessed to have a best friend such as Captain Wrath and an adopted daughter such as Jezebel Wilder, and I am so blessed to see that these too found each other and now will be sharing in a selfless, everlasting love. To Jeze and Gideon!"

After breakfast Gideon and Lord Griffin set off to the church.


	26. Chapter 23 Before the wedding

**Chapter 23 before the wedding**

"I think I have a fever." I said putting my hand to my forehead.

"Nonsense dear!" assured Mrs. Stone winding another curl into my hair. "Its just the usual pre-wedding jitters"

I winced as the stem to another artificial rosebud was poked into my hair. "I always thought I would have more than two hours to prepare for my wedding." I said as I tried to gain my nerves, all the while powdering my face, neck, chest and shoulders. Mrs. Stone laughed. "Darling, I had seven months to prepare for my wedding and it still wasn't enough time."

I took in another deep breath just as my mother was entering with a bouquet of ruby poinsettias with hints of white baby's-breath like tiny snow-flakes tied into it. My mother frowned and set them on the vanity. "I looked everywhere for roses." She explained kneeling before me and playing with the front of my hair. I took the flowers in my hand and grinned. "These are beautiful!" I exclaimed. "There not roses!" my mother repeated. "I wanted you to have roses." I then took my mother's hands. "Mama, its fine." I assured.

"I found it! I found my wedding dress!" Announced milady bursting into the room holding a box with pride, she tore off the lid quickly unfolding the tissue paper and with a swoosh pinning it to her.

I put it on. The dress felt almost as if it was made for my body, despite it being a little big in the waist. But maybe that was a good thing; the ball gown silhouette, with the skirt of an empire dress, flattered my figure nicely without showing too much. The rosettes on the shoulders looked slightly ludicrous, but I did not mind. And the beautiful white color... though I was almost as pale as the dress itself, I did not disappear within its ivory satin and chiffon. They only seemed to make me glow brighter than any vermillion, lavender, or emerald had ever done. I felt more beautiful and rich then the queen of England herself.

"Oh lovely!" milady cried circling me. "Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely!"

I then looked to my mother who held the veil. She stood there with tears welled up in her eyes like a dam about to burst and send a river of tears down her cheeks. I turned and she gently pinned the veil in my hair with two rosebuds and adjusted it. I looked in the mirror and gasp, I could not believe I was not dreaming all of this.

Katrina with her scarlet dress then entered and knelt before me. "Stick out your leg!" she ordered. I blinked. "What?" I questioned, she rolled her eyes. "Lift up your skirt and give me your leg." She demanded again. In disbelief I shook my head. "Why?"

"Because I said so little miss innocent!" and so I obeyed. Katrina then slid a daring blood-red with black lace garter up my thigh and her mother gasped. "Katrina Elizabeth that garter is much to risqué to be worn by a young lady."

Katrina smirked darkly and responded. "I know and I imagine the captain will thank me for it later!" she then winked as the clock struck 11:30 and so grabbing my choker and flowers we rushed off.

**_Chapter _ I do_**

We were met outside the church by lord Griffin. My mother, Mrs. Stone, Katrina and milady gave me a kiss for luck and entered the chapel. We waited a moment to be sure everyone was seated. I adjusted the gloves upon my hands, as white as the snow around me before facing lord Griffin. I placed my hands upon both of his shoulders and stood on my tip-toe to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for being such a good father to me." I stated, he nodded with mist in his eyes whispering a your welcome before lowering my veil over my face, and placed my hand in the crock of his elbow.

The church doors opened and all at once I remembered my past…as I walked to my future. The church was aglow with holiness, candlelight and love, my feet gently stepped upon red and white poinsettia peddles that rested upon glossy white silk. Feeling my train dragging behind me, I studied the pathway of peddles before at last looking up, I saw my family, both ladies who had served me as a mother, a cook who had been both my grandmother and aunt, a best friend who was my sister, a librarian who was a friend, a wine vineyard who was a brother and a captain…who was my world.

As softly as the twinkling of stars the piano played Clair de lune, but in my mind it was a whole orchestra; meshing together in one beautiful swell of music. It was the music of my heart strings that I heard, so harmonized, so gentle.

I met the eyes of my groom, he did not move but I could see mist in his eyes, love's joyous mist that met the same in my eyes as the world blurred and then fell away leaving only he and I in this wide universe. I smiled through my tears as I at last approached him. His hand moved slightly as if going to wipe his eyes only to change his mind.

The minister held up his hand. "Who gives this girl away?" he asked.

"I do sir." Answered lord Griffin giving my hand to Gideon before going to his place between milady and mother. My eyes locked on Gideon and his eyes upon me...

The minister cleared his throat and read.

" Dearly beloved, Love is not selfish or demanding, yet it is not equal, husband and wife must be willing to give and take for each other's happiness. For through love we see the light of God and ourselves, and through love I bring this man and this woman together in holy matrimony. Face each other."

We did and smiled.

"Repeat after me."

"I Gideon Wrath…."

My captain echoed the minister effortlessly with a rumbling of his voice.

"I Gideon Wrath do promise thee Jezebel Bernice Wilder, my fidelity, a share of all my earthly possessions and my everlasting love. To be thy medicine in sickness, thy joy in health, thy light in darkness. For better or for worse, in good times and bad as long as we both shall live."

It was my turn.

" I Jezebel Wilder do promise you Captain Gideon Wrath, my fidelity, a share of all my earthly possessions and my everlasting love. To be your medicine in sickness, your joy in health, your light in darkness. For better or for worse, in good times and bad as long as we both shall live."

Then taking the ruby ring he said. "With this ring, I thee wed." I smiled, only to realize I did not have a ring for him. Momentarily I panicked before an idea struck. I turned to the minister, slipping off my shoe.

"I do not have a ring." I said. "but I do have a symbol of my love." I then reached down for the coin and placed it in Gideon's palm. "This coin was given to me by someone very dear to my heart." I smiled. "a man that would later be my husband…with this coin, I thee wed."

"Then by the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife."

My husband slowly lifted my veil, savoring the moment and kissed me with a gentle passion. Our on lookers applauded us as we walked back down the aisle.


	27. Chapter 24 I do

**_Chapter 24 I do_**

We were met outside the church by lord Griffin. My mother, Mrs. Stone, Katrina and milady gave me a kiss for luck and entered the chapel. We waited a moment to be sure everyone was seated. I adjusted the gloves upon my hands, as white as the snow around me before facing lord Griffin. I placed my hands upon both of his shoulders and stood on my tip-toe to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for being such a good father to me." I stated, he nodded with mist in his eyes whispering a your welcome before lowering my veil over my face, and placed my hand in the crock of his elbow.

The church doors opened and all at once I remembered my past…as I walked to my future. The church was aglow with holiness, candlelight and love, my feet gently stepped upon red and white poinsettia peddles that rested upon glossy white silk. Feeling my train dragging behind me, I studied the pathway of peddles before at last looking up, I saw my family, both ladies who had served me as a mother, a cook who had been both my grandmother and aunt, a best friend who was my sister, a librarian who was a friend, a wine vineyard who was a brother and a captain…who was my world.

As softly as the twinkling of stars the piano played Clair de lune, but in my mind it was a whole orchestra; meshing together in one beautiful swell of music. It was the music of my heart strings that I heard, so harmonized, so gentle.

I met the eyes of my groom, he did not move but I could see mist in his eyes, love's joyous mist that met the same in my eyes as the world blurred and then fell away leaving only he and I in this wide universe. I smiled through my tears as I at last approached him. His hand moved slightly as if going to wipe his eyes only to change his mind.

The minister held up his hand. "Who gives this girl away?" he asked.

"I do sir." Answered lord Griffin giving my hand to Gideon before going to his place between milady and mother. My eyes locked on Gideon and his eyes upon me...

The minister cleared his throat and read.

" Dearly beloved, Love is not selfish or demanding, yet it is not equal, husband and wife must be willing to give and take for each other's happiness. For through love we see the light of God and ourselves, and through love I bring this man and this woman together in holy matrimony. Face each other."

We did and smiled.

"Repeat after me."

"I Gideon Wrath…."

My captain echoed the minister effortlessly with a rumbling of his voice.

"I Gideon Wrath do promise thee Jezebel Bernice Wilder, my fidelity, a share of all my earthly possessions and my everlasting love. To be thy medicine in sickness, thy joy in health, thy light in darkness. For better or for worse, in good times and bad as long as we both shall live."

It was my turn.

" I Jezebel Wilder do promise you Captain Gideon Wrath, my fidelity, a share of all my earthly possessions and my everlasting love. To be your medicine in sickness, your joy in health, your light in darkness. For better or for worse, in good times and bad as long as we both shall live."

Then taking the ruby ring he said. "With this ring, I thee wed." I smiled, only to realize I did not have a ring for him. Momentarily I panicked before an idea struck. I turned to the minister, slipping off my shoe.

"I do not have a ring." I said. "but I do have a symbol of my love." I then reached down for the coin and placed it in Gideon's palm. "This coin was given to me by someone very dear to my heart." I smiled. "a man that would later be my husband…with this coin, I thee wed."

"Then by the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife."

My husband slowly lifted my veil, savoring the moment and kissed me with a gentle passion. Our on lookers applauded us as we walked back down the aisle.


	28. Chapter 25 Night of bliss

**_Chapter 25 Night of bliss_**

It was well dark when we set off as newlyweds. We had dined with the Griffins , like it was at breakfast, my dear husband at the head of the table and I at his right; he had made it a goal to toast everyone at the table, especially his mother-in-law.

We then opened our gifts, everyone had received exactly what they wanted. Lady Griffin got her sea foam green sofa, Katrina a fan, Milord a new pocket watch, my mother received fine Chinese silk, Mrs. Stone a new spoon and Gideon and I… received each other.

Before departing I gave Katrina a pin from my hair sense it was normally customary for the wedding party to rip apart the bride's gown for luck.

With all this done, my captain and I mounted Susanne (whom the Griffins had lent to us) and set off for our honeymoon. I sat sidesaddle in front of my husband so that he might hold onto me under the starless sky. There was a light breeze in the air, very cool, very still. The full moon reflected off the road as if it were a giant candle, so bright that we could see its craters.

"Remarkable!" stated my husband halting Susanne to gaze upon it. "I have never seen Luna so bright!"

"Nor I!" I added with a smile. My husband then put his lips very close to my ear. "Behold my love, my gift to thee, reach out thy hand and take the moon for tonight I am a god whom may give it to thee!"

Playfully I reached out my hand as to obey him, as if taking the moon in my palm. I lowered my hand and turned my face to meet his eyes and smiled. With a click of his tongue Susanne started again.

"Are we going to the inn?" I asked.

"Nay." He replied. "We art going to my New Bedford cottage…near our lake."

I was stunned.

"I purchased it after that first picnic that was when my hopes of our union began."

My heart boomed with this information; I never knew how strong his hope was to marry me back then.

"I stayed at the inn because if we did not marry, I could not bare to settle into a house that was meant for us, a house that would never be a home to me unless ye were in it."

My happiness nearly overflowed. "So it is our home." I stated hoping that he would not see the tears in my eyes.

"Aye, aye my bride… it is our home. it is partly furnished now, but thou may change it as ye please. "

When we reached our home he lifted me from Susanne and I slid down the length of his resilient body as he set me down; chills running through both of us, I looked into his eyes that were filled with unbinding love, affection and undeniable lust. "Belle…" he whispered with the breeze, lips so dangerously close to mine, as we stood chest to chest. The trees rustling the only noise in an otherwise silent night.

"We… we best go in." I blushed,

My husband unlocked our home and I stepped inside. With childlike amazement I spun slowly, mouth agape in awe of the largeness and beauty of my new home. when I faced my awaiting husband watching me from the door, I held my arms opened to him and he rushed into them and instantly found my lips, kissing them again and again as our arms encircled each other. We broke apart only to breathe.

"Oh Prometheus how didst thou make such a sweet thing as these lips …" he kissed me again. "Nay, it was not Prometheus but Aphrodite who made these lips." He kissed my cheek. "and this cheek.." and then my forehead. "and this brow."

"Oh ye Gods, ye crooked players, you can make beautiful things to make this hellish earth seem a heaven, and oh what a heaven, for now I stand before my girl-wife!"

I then went to one of the lamps and light it to a dim glow. I blushed profusely and rang my hands and cleared my throat. "I… have a gift for you as well… my husband."

He raised an eyebrow. "Aye?"

"Well…technically it is from Katrina…that is to say….she gave it to me to…to give to you."

I sat him down in a wooden armchair and sat one of the foot stools before him, I viewed my own silhouette cast on the wall as I slowly placed my foot upon the stool. With timid eyes cast downward, gradually I lifted the skirt of my wedding dress just above the little red garter, never ceasing to blush and never mustering up the courage to meet his burning gaze. The soft fabric of the dress tickled my thigh where I held the gathered dress. Suddenly my husband was upon one knee before me wordless. He lent forward and my eyes fluttered shut as I I felt the warmth of his lips gingerly caress the front of my bare thigh just above the garter followed by his strong fingertips upon the back of my leg. My body trembled with a marvelous, sweet ache that I never had dreamed existed... the feel of his hands... with parted lips and breathy gasps he tugged the garter unhurriedly down my leg. When it was off I opened my eyes again finally able to breathe, I let the skirt fall again. My husband studied my face, had been studying my face the entire time. –little did I know that he was as breathless in that moment as I, incased by a throbbing ache even more intense than my own.

He at last stood and tucked the garter in his pocket. He stared into my eyes almost daring not to touch me again so that he may keep his control. Finally he found timid words. "Might we go upstairs?..." he quietly requested, I nodded as I took his outstretched hand he led me up stairs.

Opening the door to the bedroom he swept me off my feet and carried me over the threshold, our foreheads almost touching.

He set me back on my feet. "I…must turn off the light downstairs…" he said.

My husband left me to stand before the full-length mirror. I reached back to unhook my choker but halted to fully see myself in the mirror and see the bed waiting behind me. What was I about to do? It had passed by my mind occasionally what man and wife do behind closed doors, but never before had I truly examined it in full. In the mirror I caught glimpse of the bed again and shuttered. It frightened me to the point of being deadly still and withdrawing from removing any article of clothing. Never before had a mattress intimidated me so.

I wished I had paid more attention to Katrina and not tuned her out. She had been with plenty of men….sailors even.

What if I did not please my husband? What if I fainted or cried out, would he think me weak? My husband was in my situation once too was he not? Surely he was nervous then also. Surely he would understand.

So lost in my thoughts I only became conscious again when a strong arm wrapped around my waist and a tender kiss was placed upon my neck. "Come to bed, my sweet love." He beckoned. "Come Belle, come to thy husband."

I pulled away gently and turned to him, a full blush on my face. "Forgive me." I muttered. "I have never really done this before. You see, until last night, I had never even kissed a man."

My husband then took both my hands, stroking my knuckles with his thumbs; with a soft understanding in his eyes, it was in this look I know that he, as with everything was going to be captain and leader over this night. He took backwards steps until we reached the bed. One by one he unpinned my hair until it was fully down. And then with fingers so warm, so gently my husband tugged at the delicate laces of my dress before it pooled at my feet, leaving me only in my corset, peddie coat and gloves. My body trembled as he sat himself on the bed, his eyes traveled over my half naked body with a hungry passion, that weakened my knees, the fire in the grate cracking as he took my hand. "Precious little fingers." He hummed before bringing each of my fingers to his lips and kissing each tip before removing the glove, his kisses sent terrific thrills piercing through my body. "Touch me, Belle." He whispered in a husky voice. I brought my hand up to his cheek and craned my neck to meet his lips in a kiss, his hands roamed my body and skillful lips left my mouth and traveled in burning kisses to my chin, neck and shoulders, gently flipping me onto the bed as he found my lips again

We kissed each other again and again, lips colliding with desperate hunger and flaming passion begot and harbored since the first meeting of our hands, his arms wrapped around me and mine around him, my heart raced and my body responded to his every touch with such wondrous, unimaginable sensations as he led me deeper and deeper into a bliss I had never before experienced.


	29. Chapter 26 morning

**_Chapter 26 morning _**

With love's softness in his eyes he lent forward and kissed my forehead, he could tell I still was slightly sore and still a little stunned. "Thou was incredible my love.." He promised. Tiredly I smiled at my husband and he brushed my cheek with his fingers. I met his eyes and he returned my smile.

I folded my hands atop of each other and rested my head upon them. My husband gently ran his two fingers down my spine never leaving my eyes, I half laughed at the wonderful feeling of his touch upon my skin.

"Oh heaven." He sighed. "tonight the sun and moon collided and burst into a thousand stars. See; see the angel now beside me! She makes me feel so young. So alive! I have coupled before, but never had I made love until this night. I was as much a virgin to love as she was to me. and how sweet love is! I fell in love by candlelight! So deathly ill, a dear friend took me in and in the night she lit her lamp and I woke to the light, she came in for a simple nightgown and left with my heart."

Our sheer bed curtains seemed to dance with the light breeze coming from our lake nearby. My husband continued to stroke my bare back, with strokes so gentle, so adoring, almost as if I were a porcelain doll to him, or maybe something even more fragile. It was as if he did not wish to break me, or awake from a dream. Suddenly he rolled upon his back and pulled me into him and placed my head above his heart.

"I knew I loved you very shortly after." I started. Playing my fingers upon his chest "It was when I checked your fever. Your eyes met mine; my touch seemed so lost to you, so foreign. You seemed so harmless….and then the kindness you showed to me and Mrs. Stone…I think I knew after you gave me that handkerchief that I would have rather died an old maid waiting for you than marry another."

Gideon then took my hand from his chest and kissed my palm roughly. "To think two people even without marriage vows canst promise such fidelity! Someone so young….so beautiful! And from a world that had offered me nothing but hate and bitterness before."

My husband then went on to tell me how his mother when she was pregnant with him went insane after the death of his father and did not want him. And of the days in the orphanage when he was whipped with a horsewhip as a lad by the owner Mrs. Totworth along with a handful of other children (hence the rough scarring upon his back). He was never wanted or loved as a child, or so he told me. He then told me of the first time he mated. He like I wanted to wait until marriage, but being a young man on a whaler the crew insisted; they got him drunk and sent him off with a New Bedford barmaid, thinking it was love he returned to her in the morning only to find her in the arms of another. He told me that he had closed his heart to all things that had to do with New Bedford and most of the ivory-skinned race after that. He had thought that the island people would be different, yet they two deceived him and he had given up.

"oh my poor tormented love." I remarked softly reaching up to caress his face, I did not think it possible to love him anymore than I did, but in that moment, somehow my love for him increased greatly.

"Then I met thee, the second time of course…the first time I met thee thou was but a small girl…" he paused. "You set my heart aflame." I now saw that sweltering lust returning to his dark eyes, his arms wrapped tighter about my waist. " I had never in my life wanted any woman as much as I wanted thee…only thou was not a woman…you were only 17. Only infatuation, I thought. More a physical desire for my youth long passed."

"But then days went on…" I added softly.

"Aye! I realized my want was love. But what was I to do? Ye were near half my age and servant girl to my best friend. Any true gentlemen would have withdrawn himself from such temptations, and so I did. Six agonizing months at sea and I thought only of you, dreamt only of the night I would hold thee in our marriage bed, taking each other by decree of love. You were almost an obsession to me… there were nights I would wake up calling your name. I vowed never to set foot on Griffin manor again…for your sake…but I could not stay away. I had to see thee again…if not one last time."

I sighed and met his eyes. "…I love you…" was all I could manage to whisper. Softly he turned over looking down into my eyes as his thumb stroked my cheek.

"Aye…. And I you…Belle."

And once more my husband kissed my lips and together we consummated our marriage in the morning sun.

**_Chapter__**

When I finally awoke it was to tender kisses upon my back and shoulders. I turned my face to see him fully clothed, his side of the bed made up with him upon it. "Good morning my angel." He greeted with sincere benign and admiration in his eyes. Stretching, I asked what time it was.

"Quarter to ten, love."

I blushed. "I have never woken this late." I stated with a sort of shyness. "I am sorry. I will make you breakfast momentarily."

My husband chuckled softly and shook his head. "it is I who hast made thee breakfast, and do not apologize for raising late, it gave me the privilege of watching you sleep, besides thou had a long night, my beguiling wife."

He then had a childish excitement again as he leapt from our bed and fetched a silk robe imported from Japan from out the sea chest at the foot of our bed. "Come, come!" he summoned. "Come see thy house Mrs. Wrath!"

I arose from the bed and slipped effortlessly into the white-silk, the sleeves hung nearly to the ground. He took my hands and kissed them both before motioning around the room. "Our room!" he affirmed. The dark hard wood flooring glistened with the sunlight streaming in from our large window, it matched the nightstand, sea chest, and wardrobe seamlessly and complemented the off-white color off the walls. I went to the window. "It faces our lake!" I joyfully declared. "Aye! Aye! And… it is our rightful lake, it came with the house!"

Room after room, I followed my husband. Upstairs there were two rooms not including ours and he assured me that one would be for my mother to furnish to her liking for when she stayed. Downstairs there was a large kitchen with a table for two in the corner, a grand dining room with chandelier, a parlor, a sitting room, another guest room, an office for Gideon and one final room…

"I had this room furnished first…" he grinned while turning the key.

I covered my mouth as I entered, stunned, flabbergasted and amazed. A library! My very own library! I spun myself taking in the wall to wall books. He had the room made feminine with porcelain rose-vases, sea foam green cushioned furniture with oak-framings instilled with delicate carvings, and in this room two has a chandelier and even a window-seat.

I ran my fingers over the books and smiled with gentle melancholy in my heart as the morning sun caressed and warmed me.

My husband stood leaning against the doorway with a pleased smirk on his lips. "Dost it suit thee?" he questioned, and in that moment I thought how far I had come in my life just in the past 18 hours alone, I had gone from servant girl, to fiancé, to wife and finally became a woman in the arms of the man I adored. I had gone from Jezebel Wilder to Belle Wrath in only a few precious moments. I thought of this and how much love I had in my life, and my eyes grew misty.

* * *

**the end... for now, might do more at a later date**


End file.
